
ENTERED AT THE PHILADELPHIA POST OFFICE A8 SECOND CLASS MATTER 

































SHOEMAKER’S 

Best Selections 

FOR 

READINGS AND RECITATIONS 

Numbers 1 to 25 Now Issued 

Paper Binding, each number, 30 cents 

Cloth “ “ " - - - 50 “ 

This series was formerly called “The Elocutionist’s 
Annual,” the first 17 numbers being published under 
that title. The change in name is made because it is 
believed a more appropriate title is thus secured. 

Teachers, Readers, Students, and all persons who 
have occasion to use books of this kind, concede this 
to be the best series of speakers published. The differ¬ 
ent numbers are compiled by leading elocutionists of 
the country, who have exceptional facilities for securing 
selections, and whose judgment as to their merits is in¬ 
valuable. No trouble or expense is spared to obtain the 
very best readings and recitations, and much material is 
used by special arrangement with other publishers, thus 
securing the best selections from such American authors 
as Longfellow, Holmes, Whittier, Lowell, Emerson, 
Alice and Phoebe Cary, Mrs. Stowe, and many others. 
The foremost English authors are also represented, as 
well as the leading French and German writers. 

Sold by all Booksellers and Newsdealers, or mailed 
upon receipt of price. 

THE PENN PUBLISHING COMPANY 
923 Arch Street 


Philadelphia 




THE CUBAN SPY 


‘ •/; 


A Comedy-Drama in Four Acts 



BY 

: Dun 


Frank Dumont 


Author of “Little Miss Nobody/' “A Girl of the Century/' 
“The New Woman's Husband/' etc. 


Philadelphia 

The Penn Publishing Company 

*398 









14432 


Copyright 1898 by The Penn Publishing Company 



rwo COPIES RECEIVED . 


TMPS6—007218 






The Cuban Spy 


CAST OF CHARACTERS 

Little Cuba—“ Elinora ” . . Soubrette—The Cuban Spy 

Richard Carson, a young American aiding 

the patriots. Juvenile comedy 

Roderigo Valdez, secretly in the pay of the 

Spaniards. Heavy 

•j^ OPEZ > officers in Valdez s command, Second heavy 

Phelim McNab. Irishman—Irish comedy 

Carl Weisbeer. Dutch comedy 

Jerry. Negro comedy 

Bridget Monahan, who is looking for 

Phelim McNab. Character 

Sophie, a waiting maid. Juvenile 

Time of Representation, Two Hours and a Half. 









COSTUMES 


Elinora. Act I.—Ragged dress as a stowaway; white 
waist; hair down; black shoes; ’kerchief about neck. 
Act II.—Cuban girl, semi-Spanish and very picturesque. 
Second dress, Spanish costume, veil; short skirts; colored 
hose and slippers. Act III.—First dress, Sister of Red 
Cross order, black gown, white cap. Second, Cuban boy, 
jaunty cap, jacket and short pants. Similar to Spanish bull 
fighter. Act IV.—Grand evening dress costume; train 
dress and jewels. 

Richard Carson. Semi-military dress; change in re¬ 
maining acts to business suit. No coat or vest in Act III as 
prisoner. 

Valdez. Semi-sea-faring costume in Act I. A partially 
military costume of Spanish cut for the remaining acts, 
except Act IV, where all characters dress for evening re¬ 
ception. 

Jasper. About the same as Valdez, only more in semi¬ 
bandit uniform. 

Phelim. Extravagant Irish make-up, to change during 
acts. 

Carl. Made up stout, funny German costume, to change 
slightly during progress of play. In last act more genteel. 

Jerry. Darkey make-up to suit taste of performer. 

Lopez. A Spanish guerilla, white duck jacket and pants ; 
straw hat; military accoutrements in all the acts except 
Act I, wherein he is partially in sailor dress. 

Bridget. Eccentric Irish woman’s costume, to change 
slightly during acts, and to be very gorgeous in Act IV. 

Sophie. Waiting maid’s costume; short skirts; apron; 
cap ; gaudy waist; etc. 

4 


PROPERTIES 




Act I.—Good size cannon on a truck and to revolve on 
a pivot. The butt end of cannon is open to allow a horse 
pistol to be fired through it. Box; coil of rope ; frying 
pan; large bundle of clothing tied so it can be thrown 
about; handkerchief; spy glass ; briar-wood pipe ; rope to 
bind Richard to cannon; broom; small American flag; 
guns and pistols. 

Act II.—Table; chairs; bottles; glasses; matches; 
cigarettes; small vial; decanter of liquor (sarsaparilla); 
lighted candle or lamp; female garments for Phelim and 
Carl ; pistol; torch ; red fire; lycopodium flash torch for 
flames; rope to bind Richard; guns for Carl and 
Phelim. 

Act III.—Small table; stools; lighted candle; several 
bags of straw; five guns; several boxes; stool; lot of 
chains for prisoners; stuffed stick; rope; revolvers for 
Elinora ; guns for Phelim and Carl. 

Act IV.—Handsome furniture ; curtains for centre doors ; 
carpet; document for Elinora ; imitation of horse’s hoofs 
(cocoa-nuts and slab of marble); handkerchief; chalk for 
Phelim’s face ; Cuban flag and American flag for Elinora , 
larger Cuban flag for Cubans; loaded revolvers; swords, 
etc., for battle tableau at climax. • 


V 


5 


SCENE PLOT 

Act I 


horizon DROP 



Scene —Deck of vessel. Horizontal drop at back. Cabin 
with door in 4th g. Mast, c. Cannon on Pivot, r. Bul¬ 
warks, R. and l. 


r AcT II 



Scene —Kitchen or plain chamber box set with doors r. 
and l. Door in flat. Stairs with balustrade, R. u. E. 
Table and chairs. 

/ 

6 









































THE CUBAN SPY 


7 


Act III 


OLD LOG-HOUSE OR PRISON FLATS 



Scene —Interior of old sugar-house (boxed). Stage 
divided c. Apartments r. and l., with door in dividing 
partition. Grated window R. in flat, three or four feet from 
stage. Door, l. Table and old bags and guns. 


Act IV 


INTERIOR OR GARDEN BACKING 



Scene —Handsome parlor (boxed). Door, c.,' with cur¬ 
tains. Bay window L. flat. Handsome furniture about 
room. 






















THE CUBAN SPY 


ACT I 

SCENE i.— Deck of vessel. See diagram for set. 

{Music. At rise of curtain Jerry, the negro cook , dis¬ 
covered with frying pan , r. Bridget Monahan seated 
on box , l., or coil of rope , apparently sea-sick. Jasper 
and a few sailors at rail , r.) 

Jerry. I don’t care what you-all think about it, but I 
say that this vessel is haunted all right, all right. You 
don’t catch me going down in de cellar of this vessel after 
potatoes any more. I tell you, there’s a hoodoo ’round 
here; may be dat Irish woman, for all I knows. 

Bridget. Look here, you lump of African bog, don’t 
mention my name through the opening of your face! If I 
was healthy enough I’d rise up and throw you over the 
fence of this ship. But I’m so sea-sick that I can’t stand 
on my feet, and it’s lucky for you that I can’t. Go on! 
Don’t stand there grinning at me like a big, black Tom-cat 
or I’ll forget I’m sick and dance on your neck like I would 
at Donnybrook fair. Get out of my sight, you nagur! 
(Grabs at bundle beside her and throws it at Jerry.) 

Jerry. Here, hold on; don’t insult one of the officers 
of this ship. You’re nothing but an ordinary passenger, 
I’m de head cook and superintendent of de provision de¬ 
partment. I’m de sutler, commissary, and food mixer. If 
I say, “You don’t eat,’’ you don’t eat. So look out, Irish, 
or I’ll drop a handful of shamrocks in your soup and set 
you crazy. 

Jasper, {crosses down) Here, stop all this idle talk. The 
lady is a passenger and you are the cook of this vessel. 

Jerry. I know my place and I knows her place, too. 
I tell you, you’re all “ Jonahed ” and hoodooed. There’s a 
ghost on this ship, and you can’t deny it. 

Jasper. Very well. If there is anything wrong we’ll 
ferret it out. Won’t we, boys ? 

Sailors. Yes. Overboard with the Jonah ! 


9 








IO 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Jasper. Take a look through the hold. Be careful of 
lights, as we have plenty of powder on board. Don’t for¬ 
get that. 

(, Sailor's exit cabin , R.) 

Jerry. Suppose somebody was to drop a cigarette in 
dat powder. Phew! wouldn’t we go up like sky-rockets. 
It makes me almost turn pale to think of it. I’m black in 
de face, but I’ve got a white heart. It’s a brave heart, but 
I’ve got a pair of cowardly legs. Once I get on dry land 
you don’t catch this nigger on water again. I wish I could 
catch dat man dat wrote “A Lite on de Ocean Wave.” I’d 
give him a grave in de ocean wid a wave of my razor. 

(.Enters cabinl) 

Bridget. To think I’d be such a fool for love. Ah, 
love! you’ve driven me almost crazy, and to make me fol¬ 
low a man over land and water this way. My heart’s in 
my mouth. Ugh ! It ain’t my heart, it’s something I’ve 
swallowed. ( Buries her face in a handkerchief\ rocks and 
moans ad lib.) 

Jasper. Should the sailors find any one whom they sus¬ 
pect, it would be sure death. Ignorant, superstitious set, 
but we need a rough crew at present. The Americans are 
sending arms and ammunition to the Cuban rebels. We 
are acting as a blockade-runner, taking arms to Cubans, but 
really we are in the pay of the Spanish government. It 
pays better, and we get a revenue from both parties. These 
infernal Yankees are considered smart, but we’re one too 
many for them. Spain will get even with them when the 
time comes. 

(Phelim McNab comes from cabin very sick, l.) 

Phelim. Pm doing nothing but rolling around and 
creeping around on my hands and knees. Sure I thought 
it was a pleasant ride in a row-boat from Florida to Cuba! 
But here I am half dead, and I can’t keep my insides from 
being outsides. ( At this mome?it he sees Bridget. Jasper 
is at rail with glass busy scanning the horizon) What do I 
see ? Bridget Monahan, and on this vessel! I’m dead and 
buried. What the deuce is she following me around every¬ 
where for? She mustn’t see me; I’ll skip away from 
Master Richard if we reach Cuba. {Hides behind mast as 
Bridget looks upl) 

Bridget. Oh, Phelim, Phelim, where are you ? 

Phelim. I’m where you won’t find me. I’ll jump over¬ 
board before you can grab me. 





THE CUBAN SPY 


II 


Bridget. To leave me this way ! And I’m following 
you all over just for love. 

Phelim. You’re not the only oyster-shell in the 
basket! (l.) 

(Carl Weisbeer, heard in cabin .) 

Carl. Oh, my ! Oh, me ! Stop de ship! I want to 
climb out and walk home ! (Carl staggers out of cabin , and 
almost falls over Bridget as he goes , l.) 

Bridget. Can’t you see where you’re going, you sau¬ 
sage-headed Dutchman! 

Phelim. {behind mast) Ireland and Germany will have 
a scrap ! I’m referee ! 

Bridget. Don’t stand there looking at me ! Say some¬ 
thing, if you have anything on your mind, out with it—up 
with it! 

Carl. Yes. ( staggers to rail—business of sea-sick) It’s 
off my mind! 

Phelim. That Dutchman has made me sick ! ( Staggers 
R., and business of sick.) 

Bridget. Oh ! There’s a poor man over there who feels 
bad—I’ll go over and console him. ( Goes towards Phelim, 
and as she talks he avoids her , turns his face away , and 
replies only in monosyllables. Are you very ill, my poor 
man ? Sure I didn’t see you on this vessel before. Can I 
do anything for you? I’m always sorry for the sick, so I 
am ! Let me see your face, my poor man ! {As she tries to 
get a look at him he manages to back away, then goes around 
the mast , then suddenly staggers sideways into cabin , and 
disappears , much to Bridget’s surprise.) Sure I think the 
man’s crazy ! Well, well, once I lay my hands on Phelim 
McNab he’ll never get away from me. I heard he was in 
Cuba, so I set out on his track. I’m suffering a good bit for 
him (Phelim looks out of cabin) but he’ll pay for it all. I’ll 
make him suffer twice as much ! 

Phelim. You will—nit! {Disappears.) 

Bridget. Maybe the poor Dutchman needs consolation ! 

Carl. No, I don’t need constellation ; I want a consti¬ 
tution. I’ll get some of dot Irishman’s vitsky {starts for 
cabin.) 

Bridget. Hold on there! I want to talk to you! 

Carl. I ain’t got no time! Funny how womens always 
bodder a man when he don’t want them around. {Darts 
into cabin , and bumps into Valdez, who is entering from it. 
Carl falls backward and rises.) I beg your puddings! 
{Enters cabin) 


12 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Bridget. Ah, Captin dear, but you’re a fine man ! You 
run into that lump of sourkrout as nate as a gossoon would 
thump a head at Donnybrook! Say! Captin dear, I’m sick! 

Valdez. You look it. 

Bridget. I feel it. Say, Captin, have you a private bottle 
that’s good for indigestion caused by'sea-sickness ? 

Valdez. No! Your place is in the cabin, not on deck. 

Bridget. Is that so? I wouldn’t have known it if you 
hadn’t told me. Sure you’re a peacock wid your gold-lace 
cap and spangles on your clothes. What a long tail our 
cat’s got! Ah! Ye Spanish cheroot, you! If the Ameri¬ 
cans and the Irish ever get after you they’ll clip the feathers 
off of ye mighty quick. 

Valdez. Ah! Bah! 

Bridget. Don’t say bah to me. I’m not a sheep. I’m 
a little Irish lamb, and you’ll not put any mint sauce on me, 
either. That for you and old Spain ! ( S?iaps her finger .) 

I’d like to see old Weyley put me in jail. I’d have the 
whole of Ireland over here in a week. 

Valdez. Hold your tongue ! 

Bridget. I can’t. It’s too slippery. And you'll not hold 
it for me, either. I’ll have the last word. I’m a woman, and 
I never let a man have the last word. I’ll—I’ll—I’d talk to 
you some more, but I’m sick. ( Business with handkerchief, 
and staggers into cabin trying to talk to Valdez.) I’ll see 
you when I can talk. 

Valdez. I must abandon this life. It is growing dan¬ 
gerous. I can remain in Havana without risk. The papers 
will secure a vast estate, and none can point to me as the 
criminal. Don Alvarez trusted me in all things, and even 
in his will made me his heir in case his only child should 
die. In an evil moment I removed him and placed the little 
girl upon a vessel sailing for an American port. It was not 
my first crime as the cursed brand of the felon was seared 
in my flesh. 

{Enter Jasper from cabin) 

Jasper. Captain {salutes), I have observed the American 
closely, as you have ordered me. I believe he is a spy, and 
if so, will stand in our way if we attempt to run this cargo 
into the hands of the Spanish authorities. 

Valdez. Well, he is but one American among us all I 
You know what to do if he becomes two inquisitive. He 
is but a passenger, same as the others—but we didn’t prom¬ 
ise to land them anywhere, did we ? 

Jasper. No. I understand! They are on board, but not 


THE CUBAN SPY 


13 


landed yet! Mr. Richard Carson had best keep a quiet 
tongue in his head—or— 

Valdez. Or—you’ll keep it quiet for him. That’s the 
idea! I’ll stroll into the cabin and observe him myself. 
{Enters cabin) 

Jasper. These passengers imagine that they own this 
vessel, but they’ll have a rude awakening before long. 
{Noise heard in cabin ; music, R.) 

(Elinor a rushes from cabm, pursued by sailors ; she eludes 
them and crosses to r. c., sailors L.) 

Lopez. A stowaway ! We found her concealed in the 
hold. 

Jasper. Let her be secured! {Sailors rush towards her. 
She runs towards cabi?i and into the arms of Richard Car- 
son, who enters from it. Sailors start back. Picture .) 

Elinora. Save me, or they will kill me! 

Richard. What does this mean ? Why do you attack 
a defenceless girl ? 

Jasper. She is a stowaway, and she can’t remain on this 
vessel. 

Sailors. Over with the Jonah ! 

Elinora. Don’t let them kill me, sir. I will leave the 
vessel if they will but set me adrift upon a spar! Will you 
protect me ? 

Richard. With my life ! He who attempts to harm you 
will answer to me ! You are under my protection ! 

Jasper. Down with the American if he interferes. 

Richard. Advance, cowards, advance ! but the first who 
approaches will lie upon this deck. I am an American, and 
I protect a female in distress wherever I find her! 

Jasper. I warn you not to interfere with me or this 
crew if you value your life. 

Elinora. Do not make enemies of them on my ac¬ 
count. Leave me to them. You must not sacrifice your 
life for mine. 

Richard. I have faced death too often to allow these 
curs to frighten me. They may intimidate a woman, but a 
man is not afraid of such dogs. 

Jasper. Surrender! We are all against one. 

Phelim. {enters from cabin ) That’s a lie! You’re all 
against two. I’m in this fight with you, Master Richard. 
We’re two against the lot of ’em. 

Carl, {comes from cabin ) Make it three. I fights mit 
you against dat gang of snoozers. 


*4 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Jasper. Down with them! No quarter! Make quick 
work of it! 

[Music. —Jasper and Sailors attack Richard, who fells 

Jasper to the deck. Carl knocks down a sailor , and 

Phelim levels a briar-wood pipe at them. Sailors fall 

back.) 

Phelim. Be gob, but they’re afraid of a briar-wood 
pipe {laughs). 

{Enter Valdez from cabin.) 

Valdez. What is the meaning of this tumult? 

Jasper, {who has risen) We found a stowaway, and that 
American busybody interfered with us. He struck me, but 
his life will pay for the blow. 

Carl. Ah! blow all you want to You’re a blower 
from Blowersville. 

Phelim. A fine lot of sailors ! Try to murder a woman 
and then let me bluff them with a pipe. Dutchy, we’re the 
boys to make them dance to our music, ain’t we ? 

Carl. If I play de “ Wacht am Rhine ” I’ll make ’em do 
de “ hitchy kitchy,” I bet you. 

Valdez, (to Jasper) Leave all to me. I’ll give you a 
chance to retaliate in a short time. {Aloud) Jasper, no 
more of this unseemly conduct. Take the men forward. 

Jasper. All right, Captain. 

(Jasper and Sailors exit , r. i e.) 

Phelim. German regiment, attention! Fall in! By the 
right flank! By platoons ! Form a hollow square! In a 
double line! Forward—march! 

{Putting Carl into short drill , they exit into cabin , imitating 
a drum , one singing “ Yankee Doodle.") 

Valdez, {to Richard) This is a stowaway and sailors as 
a rule treat them in a rough manner. I will look into the 
matter and have my men apologize to you {aside) and a 
solid apology, rest assured. {Enters cabin.) 

Elinora. Senor, how can I ever repay you for risking 
your life to save mine ? 

Richard. Do not speak of the matter. Danger is past 
and you are safe. I have simply performed my duty as a 
man. 

Elinora. Your face and noble action will be engraven 
upon my heart. 


THE CUBAN SPY 


15 


Richard. What is your name ? 

Elinora. I am called Little Cuba. You are an Amer¬ 
ican, and all Americans are friends of the poor struggling 
patriots of Cuba. I can therefore trust you. With the aid 
and friendship of Americans Cuba will be free—free as 
you are yourselves. You may surmise that I am a spy, and 
so I am. This vessel, though a blockade runner and ap¬ 
parently taking arms and ammunition to the patriots, is in 
reality in the hands of a Spanish villain who will allow the 
Spaniards to take this vessel and cargo if he can. The 
Captain, while pretending friendship for the Cubans, is 
really their worst foe. He is a villain ! 

Richard. So I have judg'ed him. We came aboard as 
passengers to Havana from Key West, and I have seen 
enough of him to suspect that his crew of ruffians would 
not hesitate at murder. But tell me, do they suspect you ? 

Elinora. I think not, merely taking me for a stow¬ 
away or Jonah. I am known as Elinora to all save you. 
I wish to reach Havana for a certain purpose, and to be of 
service to Cuba. I hope to aid the brave men who will 
avenge Maceo’s death. 

Richard. Aye, and to pay back the cowardly curs who 
basely murdered him. A million Americans will spring to 
arms if haughty Spain but dares to offer another insult to 
our flag. 

Elinora. Bravely said, and I know you mean every 
word of it. The story of my life is a sad one, and would 
weary you to relate it. I will merely say that my father was 
murdered by a false friend, and I, a little child, was sent 
away in the care of hired villains. I managed to escape, 
and in after years to return to Cuba, only to find the villain 
in full possession of my father’s estates; but he had de¬ 
parted for Spain, and I could prove no claim ; I am on the 
trail of that villain, and I feel that some day I will meet him 
face to face. ( Crosses to l.) 

Richard. Did you ever see him, or note anything 
peculiar whereby you might identify him ? 

(Valdez appears at cabin door and listens.) 

Elinora. On that fatal night I heard my father’s cry 
for help, and rushed to his assistance. I seized the assassin 
by the arm, and as he threw me aside I saw by a flash of 
lightning that gleamed through the window, deeply im¬ 
printed on the man’s hand a letter—the letter A ! 

(Valdez starts—looks at palm of his hand, and goes 

behind mast.) 


16 


THE tUBAN SPY 


Richard. That is a clue. It was the custom years ago 
in the Spanish settlements to bum a letter upon a criminal’s 
arm, hand, or shoulder. 

Valdez. Tis his child—but I am safe if I can keep this 
accursed mark hidden. ( Enters cabin.) 

Elinora. That is my only clue, and a small voice within 
my heart that bids me hope—watch and wait. 

Richard. We must leave this vessel before she reaches 
the island of Cuba! Perhaps we may secure one of the 
boats, and thus make our escape. 

Elinora. The Captain interfered merely to blind you ! 

{Music —Valdez, Jasper and sailors come from cabin.) 

Valdez. There is the stowaway. She is a spy, and you 
may do with her as you like. 

Jasper. Cast her overboard! 

Sailors. Yes—throw her overboard! 

Richard. Would you murder a defenceless woman ? 

Valdez. I am the captain of this vessel, and will do as 
I please. 

Richard. But you won’t do as you please with this 
poor girl now under my protection. Remember I am a 
passenger, and claim my rights as such. 

Valdez. I’ll hang you from the yard-arm for interfering 
with me and my orders. 

Richard. Where is Phelim ? 

Valdez, {laughs) Your German and Irish friends are 
secured below. 

Bridget, {at cabin) If there’s any one locked up below, 
sure I’ll unlock ’em again. {Disappears.) 

Valdez. Now, my fine American, you’re left to yourself, 
and I leave you to the tender mercies of my crew. 

Richard. You are a pirate, a villain ! Entrusted with 
this cargo for the Cubans, you intend to betray them. 

Valdez. I’ll make sure you won’t tell any one about it. 
Seize him ! {Sailors seize Richard.) 

Richard. You treacherous dog! 

Valdez. I’d send a bullet through your brain, but I’ve 
reserved you for something else. I’ll try your nerve; I’ll 
try your American courage; your pluck, if you have any. 
Do you see that cannon? Bind him to its muzzle. (Rich¬ 
ard is bound by rope , facing the cannon , the muzzle to his 
breast.) 

Elinora. Surely you would not doom him to such a 
horrible fate. Spare him ! Take my life if you will, but be 
merciful to him. {Kneels lo Valdez.) 


THE CUBAN SPY 


17 


Richard. Do not kneel to that villain. Arise! I am 
an American, and I can die in the defence of the down¬ 
trodden and for a woman, alone and unprotected. An 
American defies the cowardly Spanish dogs who yelp and 
bark at my heels. 

Valdez. Seize this girl! { 7 wo sailors seize Elinora.) 
Lopez, to your post! 

Lopez. Aye, aye, Captain! (,Stands ready to Jive cannon .) 

(Elinora suddenly breaks from sailors , snatching a revolver 
from the belt of one , and levels it at Valdez. Picture.) 

Elinora. Speak the word to fire that gun and you are a 
dead man! 

Phelim and Carl come from cabin , armed. Sailors strike 
up Elinor a’s hand. General fight takes place. Phelim 
attacks Lopez, Carl attacks Jasper. Bridget runs on 
from cabin with a broom and attacks sailors. Lopez sud¬ 
denly fights his way to the cannon. Elinora quickly re¬ 
leases Richard from cannon. Soon as Richard is out of 
the way the cannon is fired atV aldez’s command. Phelim 
waving small American flag , and on this quick picture 


CURTAIN 


ACT II 


SCENE .—Interior of old inn, Mcitanzas. See scene plot. 

Music. Lopez, as landlord of inn, discovered. Several 

men are seated at table , r. c. 

Lopez. The Captain will pay a good price if we succeed. 
The American carries a quantity of money, and besides, he 
is not wanted in Cuba. 

{Enter Jasper, disguised, door flat) 

Jasper. Be careful! The American will soon be here. 
Remember! You are all patriots now. You were never on 
board of the blockade runner, and above all, do not let him 
see through our present disguise. Hark! Some one ap¬ 
proaches. 

{Enter Bridget, door f.) 

Bridget. What a murdering country and what a lot of 
homely men! Nose on ’em like badgers and whiskers like 
a baboon ! Sure, if you were in Ireland and St. Patrick was 
alive he’d drive yees all into the sea for snakes and toads. 
Talk up, some one of yees, for I’m in the humor for a fight. 

Lopez. My dear madam, what do you want? 

Bridget. Is this a hotel or is it a museum ? 

Lopez. It is a hotel. 

Bridget. Well, I’m glad I know what it is. ’Pon my 
word I never saw such an ugly lot of men in all my life ! 
But ye can’t help it! {To one of the men) Does your face 
hurt you ? Why don’t you try to wear it upside down ? 
Oh! my! What a face to stamp butter? And there’s a 
man so cross-eyed that he can look into his own ear ! Well, 
if this is a hotel, show me the best room you have in the 
house. 

Lopez. This way, madam. We will do our best to 
make you comfortable. {Bows her out, r. i e.) 

Bridget. Oh ! what a homely lot of men ! They have 
scrubbing-brushes for whiskers! Oh, my I Oh, my! I 
hope I won’t dream about them ! {Exit, r. i e.) 

Jasper. That gabbling woman may be in our way. I 
wish Lopez had sense enough to refuse her accommoda¬ 
tions. Still, we can easily rid ourselves of such people, if 
needs be. 

18 


THE CUBAN SPY 


19 


(Enter Richard and Phelim, door , f.) 

Richard. Good evening, gentlemen ! 

Jasper. Good evening ! 

(Piielim, startled by the voice , comes down and circles about 
Jasper, as if to trace a resemblance , etc) 

Phelim. I thought I remembered that voice. It be¬ 
longed to as big a blackguard and cut-throat as ever trod 
the earth or sailed on a ship—a blockade runner, maybe ! 

Jasper. Your comparison is not an agreeable one, sir. 

Phelim. And the man I mean wasn’t agreeable, either. 
But no matter. I suppose all Spaniards look alike ! 

Jasper. What do you mean? 

Phelim. They’re mean enough for anything. 

(Lopez enters r. i e passes by Phelim, who gazes at him 

intently) 

Lopez. Welcome, gentlemen! Make yourselves at 
home. 

Phelim. We’ll do that, my bucko, whether you want us 
to or not. Sit down, Master Richard, when in Rome do as 
the Roman candles do—when in Cuba do as the Cubanians 
do—and we’ll do anybody that tries to do us. ( Sits dow?i 
and puts his feet on the table) 

Jasper, (to Richard) I am always glad to meet Ameri¬ 
cans. They sympathize with us and aid us at every chance. 

Richard. We never refuse to extend a helping hand to 
the cause of liberty. Our Republic is made up of men who 
sought our shores to escape oppression, and once they 
breathe the air of freedom they are anxious that all other 
lands may be as free! I know not if you are a Cuban or a 
Spaniard, but I will say this to you, my heart is with the 
struggling Cubans, and I am ready to aid them in their 
battle against cruel oppression. Every liberty-loving man 
in the United States thinks as I do. 

Phelim. And in Ireland, too! We’re not free ourselves, 
but we’ll get there! Here’s to the American eagle and 
Yankee Doodle that will make that yaller-faced Weyler 
“ walk Spanish ” if he tries a bluff on us, now. 

Jasper. I’m glad to meet you both ; we need aid and the 
services of brave men. We are all patriots and we’re 
friends of the cause. 

Richard. I am pleased to meet you! There is such a 
thing as pretending to be friendly to Cuba and betraying 
those who risk their lives in her cause. 


20 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Jasper. That is very true, we live in troublous times. 
( Whistle heard) Here comes one who has been outlawed 
for his devotion to Cuba, Sehor Rial. ( Enter Valdez, l. i 
e. He is thoroughly disguised) Sehor Rial, I wish you to 
meet this brave American—he is one of us in heart and 
intentions. 

Valdez. Sehor American, I am proud to meet you ! 
(Shakes hands) 

Phelim. And I’m Phelim McNab! You’re Sehor Rial, 
and I’m the “rale” thing! I think that I have met you 
before. 

Valdez. That is hardly possible. I am a native of this 
isle and have never visited your country ! 

Phelim. You may not have been in Ireland but I think 
you’ve been on the water! 

Valdez, (laughs) I am not a sailor. 

Phelim. But you might be a cruiser, a blockade runner, 
or a sort of a pirate. 

Valdez. Sir! I will not brook an insult. 

Phelim. Keep your shirt on! I said you looked it. If 
the cap fits you you can wear it. 

Richard. Phelim, the subject is not a pleasant one to 
Sehor Rial. 

Phelim. Maybe it’s too “ real ” for him. Well, I’ve 
spoke my mind and that’s all there is about it. It’s not my 
fault if he looks like a black-muzzled pirate or a rapscallion, 
is it ? Sit down “ Real ” and put a piece of ice on your 
cocoa-nut to keep your brains cool. 

Valdez, (to Richard) I will not notice your eccentric 
friend. 1 do not understand his style of joking. 

Phelim. You’ll see the joke later on. 

(Enter Elinora disguised as a Cuban girl. She conies over 
to table , is surprised to see Richard.) 

Valdez. Come, Lopez ! Bring us some of your choice 
wine, mind you, none of your cheap red vinegar—but the 
real juice of grapes. 

(Elinora starts at the voice , but lights a cigarette by scratch¬ 
ing a match upon the bald part of Phelim’s head. Lopez 

exits) 

Phelim. Hold on there! What do you take my skull 
for ? A bit of sandpaper or the side of a match-box ? 

Elinora. Sehor will please excuse me, I am very near¬ 
sighted. 


THE CUBAN SPY 


2 I 


Phelim. Well! Well! She’s that near-sighted she didn’t 
know I had a head on me. Well, I accept your apology, 
but don’t do it again. 

(Lopez returns with bottle of wine and glasses. Places it on 
table. Pours out wine. Valdez unobsemed pours con¬ 
tents of small vial into Richard’s glass. Elinor a sees 
the action) 

Valdez. Here is to our cause, and may it prove suc¬ 
cessful ! ( As Richard is about to drink Elinora spills his 

wine , then pretends it was an accident .) 

Elinora. Oh ! excuse me. I am so near-sighted. 
Valdez, {aside) Confounded meddler! ( Rises and goes 
to Elinora.) Who are you ? 

Elinora. I am myself, who are you ? 

Valdez. Answer; where did you come from? 

Elinora. Outside. 

Valdez. How did you get in here? 

Elinora. Through the door. I couldn’t drop down 
through the chimney, could I ? {Blows smoke into Valdez’s 
face) 

Valdez. None of your insolence ! What do you want 
here ? 

Elinora. Nothing. Have you got it ? 

Valdez. I’ll wring your neck for you. 

Elinora. No, you won’t. I don’t care that for you! 
{Snaps finger at him) I’m not afraid of you. 

Valdez. A still tongue makes a wise head! 

Elinora. Then you’ll never be wise. You talk too 
much! 

Valdez. What was your object in striking that gentle¬ 
man’s wine glass ? 

Elinora. Merely an accident, I assure you. It was fit 
to drink, wasn’t it? You wouldn’t do anything crooked, 
would you ? 

Valdez. I’d like to know who and what you are! 
Elinora. You’d like to know who and what I am. I 
am a Cuban. So are you, ain’t you ? We are both fighting 
for a cause. Mine is a good one. I don’t know about yours. 
Are you with us heart and soul ? {Crosses to table) 

Jasper, {coming to them). Have no words! Just cut her 
throat. 

Valdez, {to Jasper) No, I’ll have no words with her. The 
American is growing uneasy. Let the girl go. I’ll fix her 
after we get rid of the American. 


22 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Jasper. If you’ll let me attend to him I’ll warrant he won’t 
be so impudent and bold. 

Valdez. ( to Elinora) Some people might be offended at 
your silly remarks, but we are too sensible, and we don’t 
notice it. Will you take a hand in the game we are about 
to play ? 

Elinora. Not now. I will take a hand in the game you 
are going to play by and by. 

Valdez. I don’t quite catch your meaning. 

Elinora. I dare say you don’t. However, we won’t 
quarrel. Go and sit down. I’ll make one of your merry 
party. 

Valdez, {to Lopez) Lopez, we will adjourn to your pri¬ 
vate room. Every idiot has a right to this public apartment, 
it seems. 

Elinora. Make yourself at home, Mr. Idiot. Don’t worry 
on my account. {Goes up staged 

Lopez. You can retire to my room, sefiors. 

Phelim. This room is all right, and as for the kid yonder, 
she has a right to be in here. This is a public inn. 

Valdez. You don’t know whom to trust these times. Re¬ 
member, the government has spies in all directions. I am 
not risking my head if you are. 

Phelim. I am an American citizen, and until I do some¬ 
thing over here I defy Weyler, Spain, and the whole kitten 
crew of blackguards to lay a finger on me! That’s what! 

Richard. Sehor Rial, if you choose to adjourn to 
another room, I am agreeable. 

Valdez. I suggest this merely in the interest of safety. 

Richard. Lead on, sir ! 

(They arise and start to exit r. 2 e. Elinora makes sig?ials 

to Richard to attract his at/entio?i , but he fails to note 

them) Phelim, who is going out last , sees the motions. 

and imitates them in a grotesque manner .) 

Phelim. She thinks I belong to her lodge! She’s giving 
me the grip and the password. “ Erin go Bragh !”—“ E 
Pluribus Onions!” “ Cad Millia Failthey !” Ta-laa-loo-loo! 
{Makes frantic and eccentric signals , and exits triumphant , 
r. 2 E.) 

; Elinora. He failed to note my signal of warning. He 
is lost if he remains here—what can I do? Return here as 
soon as possible, but not in this attire, for I believe the 
villain has partially penetrated this disguise. The maid 


THE CUBAN SPY 


23 


engaged in this inn is in my pay ; to her I will appeal for 
immediate aid. Come what may, the American must be 
saved! 

{Enter Carl at back.) 

Carl. Hello, you ! Come here, I want to say something 
to you ! Did you see two gentlemen fellers around here— 
one is a ’merican, the other a Micky Irishwoman? 

Elinora. I have no time, sir, to answer your questions. 
Seek the landlord in that room {poi?its r. 2 e.) You will 
excuse me, I am in a great hurry. ( Exits , l. i e.) 

Carl, {imitates voice) Excuse me ! I’m in a great hurry! 
Well, that lady isn’t a bit obliging. Excuse me, I’m in a 
hurry! Get out, you Spanish cheroot! You ain’t got any 
more sense than I’ve got. (Bridget descends steps.) 

Bridget. Ah, ha! There you are! ( Grabs Carl.) 
Now, my bucko, I have a hold on you ! Where’s that deceiv¬ 
ing Irish friend of yours? 

Carl. Cross my suspenders, I don’t know where he is. 
I’m looking for him, I tell you! You tell me where he is, 
and I’ll tell you ! What have I got to do with your troubles ? 
Find him if you want him, but I ain’t got nothing to do 
with your foolishness. 

Bridget. Foolishnesses it? You’ll find that I’m not 
fooling. He promised to marry me, and borrowed five 
dollars from me to buy the ring, and he lit out! 

Carl. ( laughs ) He gave you de slip, did he ? 

Bridget, {hits him) What are you laughing at, you 
Dutch herring! I’ll give you a smack that will knock you 
clean back to Germany like a sky-rocket! 

Carl. My dear woman, I don’t blame you for trying to 
find your mash, but don’t soak me in the jaw like that. 

Bridget. Well, I’ll find him, so I will! And you’ll go 
with me ! 

Carl. I’ll go with you, “ nit.” 

Bridget. You’ll go with me nit is it? ( Slaps him) Nit 
is it ? 

Carl. I’ll go with you nit, yes—I said mit you, not nit 
you ! “ Nit ” means yes in German. 

Bridget, {crosses to l.) I’ll just keep my fins on you for 
safe keeping. Come right along, Mr. Smearcase ; Ireland’s 
got a hold of you now, and it’s home rule or nothing. 

Carl. This is tough on Germany! What’s this world a 
coming to, when a woman can kidnap a man dis way and 
de poor sucker can’t help himself! {Business. She leads him 
out l. 1 E. He is protesting in vain) 


24 


THE CUBAN SPY 


{Enter Elinora, richly attired in Spanish female costume, 

door in flat) 

Elinora. Perhaps I may be able to save him. I must 
dissemble as much as possible. No harm must come to 
Richard while I am here. 

{Enter Phelim, l. i e. Begins a flirtation with her at once) 

Phelim. There’s the Spanish beauty I met twice yester¬ 
day—and I believe she’s pretty well gone on me. 

Elinora. {aside) I must get rid of this troublesome ad¬ 
mirer in some manner, and yet keep him near in case I 
need his assistance. 

Phelim. {comes to her) You’re a bird! I mean you’re 
pretty as a bird. 

Elinora. Ah, senor, you flatter me. 

Phelim. Not a bit of it. I bowed twice to you this after¬ 
noon. Pm a man that falls in love mighty quick! 

Elinora. The senor is a gallant man! 

(Phelim has business of bowing) 

Phelim. Do you know that I think a great deal of you! 
What is your name ? 

Elinora. Helena Matanzas! 

Phelim. Is that so ? What is it in English ? 

Elinora. Same thing ! Helena Matanzas. 

Phelim. You’re one of the prettiest girls I’ve seen over 
here. Now, then, I hate to be fooling around and wasting 
time. I am one of these fellers that’s quick ! Now, what do 
you ? Will you marry me and become Mrs. Phelim McNab 
instead of Helen Kansas ? 

Elinora. Matanzas! , 

Phelim. Yes, Matanzas! Now, don’t jump at me. I 
know I’m a very fascinating man. I know you can’t resist 
me, but try to calm yourself and just show that you’re anx¬ 
ious in a lady-like way. 

Elinora. Oh, senor, this is so sudden. 

Phelim. I told you I was a sudden man. Come, what 
do you say about it ? 

Elinora. {aside) I may as well carry out the joke just to 
pacify him. {Aloud) Well, I’ll tell you, we will have to 
elope. You see, my uncle is a very peculiar man. He 
watches me all the time. Disguised as my maid, we might 
escape from here unobserved. 

Phelim. But where’s my bustle, my dress, my other fix¬ 
ings to be a lady ? 


THE CUBAN SPY 


2 5 


f Elinora. I can get you some belonging to my maid. 
111 give you the signal by saying “ molasses,” and you are 
to reply “ taffy.” 

Phelim. I’ll say molasses and you’ll say taffy? 

Elinora. No. I say molasses. 

Phelim. And I’m taffy. But look here, you’re not giv¬ 
ing me taffy, are you ? 

Elinora. No ; you'll get molasses. 

(Exits up steps) 

Phelim. Oh, molasses, you sweet creature, you. I feel 
like a rainbow smothered in honey, wid a million angels 
sprinkling gum drops over me. 

{Exit l. i e. Introduce specialty) 

Elinora. {Entering, descends steps) At last I have a 
moment to myself to watch over Richard Carson and warn 
him of his great danger. I have placed that warm-hearted 
Irishman out of the way for the present, and I may be able 
to pursue my way without interruption. 

{Enter Carl, r. i e.) 

Carl. I got away from that Irish woman ! Ah ! There’s 
my idol! Sweetest of Spanish womens, behold me at your 
feet! {Eneels) From the first time what I looked at you I 
was struck ! I mean crazy foolish about you ! I never loved 
anybody before, and this is my first offence! I know that 
that Irishman was making sheep’s eyes on you, but he’s no 
good! He buried seven wives in Ireland, and St. Patrick 
chased him out for killing his grandfather! Oh! Miss— 
Miss—what is your name ?—I can’t make resistance about 
you! If you don’t have me I’ll jump overboard and hang 
myself! I lay my Dutch heart at your feet and I accept 
you! 

Elinora. Rise! {He does so) From the first time I saw 
you I was struck with your manly beauty. 

Carl. Why, certainly! 

Elinora. I could not be seen leaving this place with 
you because my uncle and brothers watch every movement, 
but, disguised as my maid, we could leave here with se¬ 
curity. 

Carl. You want me to be a female womans ? 

Elinora. Yes. I’ll find garments for you. Now, there 
is no time for explanations. I will throw a bundle out of 
the window to you. I will also attire myself differently to 


26 


THE CUBAN SPY 


avoid recognition. Now, go. I’ll be waiting for you here 
in the dark. To avoid mistakes I will say “ molasses ” and 
you will say “ taffy.” 

Carl. You put molasses on me and I give you taffy? 

Elinora. Remember what I said ! Go—go— I hear 
some one coming. My uncle must not see us together. Go. 
Don’t stop to talk. {She pushes him out r. i e. Carl at¬ 
tempts to talk.) 

Carl. But which do I say—syrup of figs or peanut 
candy ? 

Elinora. Go —go. We will be discovered. {She forces 
him out.) At last! Was any one ever bothered in this way ? 
Well, I think it is the easiest way to rid myself of my ardent 
admirers. Now, then, to discover Richard Carson’s where¬ 
abouts, and leave my admirers to explain matters to each 
other. I have something more serious to attend to than 
love-making. {Ascends stairs.) 

{Enter Bridget, r. i e.) 

Bridget. The Dutchman gave me the slip. There’s 
some of the craziest lot of people around here I ever saw. 
You can’t get a civil answer nor information of any kind. 

(Carl enters r. i e.) 

Carl. What was that you said I’d say? You say mo¬ 
lasses and I say taffy.“ tooty-frooty.” 

Bridget. What are you talking about? 

Carl. I don’t know; I’m in love. 

(Phelim enters boldly from l. i e., but suddenly seeing 
Bridget he darts under the table and hides) 

Bridget. Where’s Phelim McNab, I ask you? 

Carl. Well, the last time I saw him — (Phelim hits 
Carl on the foot with hand) Oh, the last time I seen him 
I didn’t saw him. 

Bridget. Where did you see him ? 

Carl. Well, I saw him— (Phelim hits him) I didn’t 
see him until I looked at him. Nit, not, no. 

Bridget. Of course you didn’t, you idiot. Now answer 
me, where was he and what was he doing ? (Phelim hits 
Carl again) 

Carl. He was hitting me on de foot. 

Bridget. What? 

Carl. I say, he was standing on his feet. 

(Bridget steps o?i Fhelim’s hand unconsciously and keeps 


THE CUBAN SPY 


27 


on talking to Carl. Phelim grimaces, squirms a?id 

groans, She's on my hand, she's standing on my fingers, 

etc.) 

Bridget. You’re a thick-headed fool. You know where 
Phelim is at this moment. I wish I could stand on him. 

Phelim. {aside) You are standing on him. Oh, she’s 
like a ton of coal. 

Bridget. It won’t be well for him when I lay my hands 
on him. I’ve followed him over here, and you can bet your 
life I’ll find him. Bah ! you Dutch fool, get away out of my 
sight! 

Carl. Yes, ma’am. {Shepushes him over ; he scrambles to 
his feet; he loses his hat as he falls. Phelim attempts to 
escape while her back is turned and drops his hat, c\, and re¬ 
turns under table. Carl scrambles around near it and di'ops 
his hat. Picks up Phelim’s and leaves his on the floor. Puts 
on Phelim’s hat. Soon as Bridget sees it she screams) 

Bridget. The hat! The hat! It’s Phelim’s hat! {Grabs 
it from Carl’s head, and shrieks in a hysterical mamier. 
Phelim escapes , r. i e.) 

Carl. De woman Vs crazy ! Dat’s my hat! 

Bridget. It’s Phelim’s hat—and he’s here, or it’s the 
ghost of his hat! Where is he ? {Looks all around, a?id 
?inder table, still holding on to hat and Carl.) Come along, 
you’ll help me to find him. If he’s in this house I’ll have 
him, if I have to tear it down from roof to cellar! Come 
along! I’ve got his hat—and I’ll find the rest of him—or 
I’ll kill you ! 

Carl. Here I go again! I was going to get married, 
but now I’m going to get killed. Oh, molasses ! molasses! 
Save your own taffy! {Begins to cry; Bridget drags linn 
out, r. 1 e. Enter Valdez, r. 2 e., looks after Carl and 
Bridget.) 

Valdez. There is no danger from that quarter, Our 
plot is progressing fairly well. With that Irishman out of 
the way the end is near. The American is engaged in a 
game of cards, and Lopez is watching an opportunity to 
drug his wine. 

{Enter Lopez, r. 2 e.) 

Lopez. It’s all right, Captain ! I had to wait my chance, 
but I gave him the drug all right. 

Valdez. Good! Let him have another if you can get 
a chance—we’ll make doubly sure. He has got enough 
money to pay for any damage we may do to this old shanty. 


28 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Lopez. Where is that impudent girl ? 

Valdez. I don’t know, and I’m not worried now, for you 
have succeeded. Let this room be kept dark for the 
present. (Lopez takes the light) We will join the Ameri¬ 
can, to avoid suspicion on his part. 

Lopez. What are you going to do with him? 

Valdez. Don’t ask silly questions. What would you 
do to a mad dog who threatened to bite you ? ( Laughs and 
exits r. 2 e. with Lopez.) 

{Enter Phelim r. i e., disguised as “ waiting maid;" fe¬ 
male garments) 

Phelim. This is a nice get-up for a respectable man! 
How do women get along inside of these togs, I wonder? 
Well, I’m all ready to elope if my black-eyed charmer is 
ready and willing. It’s dark enough and nobody will see 
us—I defy my own mother to know me. 

{E?iter Carl in female garments , L. 2 E.) 

Carl. I’m a woman but I don’t know it. I’m all ready 
for to slope off and get married to her. {Sees Phelim.) Ah ! 
There she is, Taffy Molasses ! 

Phelim. Molasses taffy, butter scotch, and chewing gum. 
Carl. Is that you, my darling ? 

Phelim. Yes, Petty! Pm your own birdie, waiting to 
fly ! ( They approach each other , and put arms around each 
other) 

Carl. I was afraid you wouldn’t keep your promises. 
Phelim. And I was afraid you’d throw me down ! Ah, 
my darling, I love you so! 

Carl. I love you harder than a dozen mules can kick. 
Give me one sweet kiss. 

Phelim. Certainly!—a dozen if you want them! I’m a 
bird at kissing! ( They.prepaid to kiss each other; they feel 
each other's faces; 7iote the whiskers on chin or rough 
beard) 

Carl. Your face is full of sand-paper and pimples. 
Phelim. And yours is like the rocky roads to Dublin. 
Carl. Well, kiss me, sweetheart, and let us skip de 
gutter. 

{fust as they are about to kiss each other a noise is heard and 
Bridget comes down-stairs. Carl and Phelim pick up 
their skirts and rush off r. and l. Bridget comes c.) 

Bridget. I thought I heard the sound of voices and 


THE CUBAN SPY 29 

somebody scampering off. Well, I’m not surprised at any 
thing I see or hear in this crazy house. 

(Phelim returns l. 2 c.) 

Phelim. Molasses—taffy—molasses. 

Bridget. Who the deuce is it that wants molasses ? 
Phelim. There she is. (Goes to Bridget.) I thought I 
heard some one coming, that’s why I scooted away. You’re 
not angry with me, are you ? (Puts arms around her.) 
Bridget. What’s going on here, I’d like to know. 
Phelim. We’ll elope while we have the chance! 
Bridget. It sounds like Phelim McNab’s voice, or I’m 
a ghost! Is that you, Phelim ? 

Phelim. Yes, Helene, your own Phelim is at your side. 
One sweet kiss and away we go! Fix your face and I’ll 
give you a smack that would water a horse! (He is just 
about to kiss her when Lopez enters l. i e. with a light) Holy 
Moses ! It’s Bridget! 

Bridget, (screams) Phelim McNab s turned into a 
woman! 

Phelim. Legs, do your duty! (Rims off, holding up 
skirts , l. 1 e.) 

Bridget. After him! Woman or no woman, I’ll have 
every rag on him or her—whichever she or him happens 
to be. 

(Dashes off in pursuit. Soon as she exits Carl rushes in, 
bumps into Lopez, and both fall from the shock. Lopez 
throws candlestick after Carl, who scrambles to his feet 
and has funny business of escaping up-stairs—tripping over 
his female garments, falling down a few steps, and finally 
escaping up-stairs. Lopez groping to find candle, and with 
matches to relight candle diming all of Carl’s ad lib. busi¬ 
ness of escaping up steps.) 

(Enter Richard, Valdez, Jasper, and men from r. 2 e.) 

Richard. I believe I will bid you good-night. I feel 
very drowsy ; a strange feeling seems to steal over me and 
my limbs refuse to bear me. (Sinks in chair) What does 
this mean ? 

Valdez. It means, my fine American braggart, that you 
are drugged and in the power of Roderick Valdez. 
Richard. Valdez! (Attempts to rise) Coward! 
Valdez. Yes, and you are helpless to defend yourself. 


3° 


THE CUBAN SPY 


(Laughs.) Look about you. You are surrounded by 
men in my employ. You will never leave this place 
alive! 

Richard. Would you murder me in my helpless condi¬ 
tion ? 

Valdez. I mean to burn down this place, and if you are 
able to crawl from the flames you are at liberty to do so. 
Bear him to the stairway and tie him. (Jasper and men 
force Richard to stairs and bind him with rope. Soon as 
this is done Elinora darts down stairs) 

Elinora. Cowards! Do you intend to murder this 
brave man? Stand back! You call yourselves men, but 
you are miserable dogs. 

Jasper. Out of the way, no power can save him now. 
Elinora. I will save him or die by his side. (Levels 
pistol at the group. They fall back.) Cowards ! a woman 
is a match for such Spaniard curs as you are. (Lopez 
steals behind her unobserved.) 

Valdez. You are quite theatrical in your language and 
deeds, but you have reckoned without your host. (Lopez 
suddenly seizes the pistol from her grasp and two men seize 
her quickly) Now, my fair lady! You see how easily the 
tables are turned when you are dealing with men of courage 
and intellect. 

Elinora. Men of courage! Vipers and crawling rep¬ 
tiles. Men of courage do not war on women nor murder 
helpless men. 

Valdez. Look your last upon him ! Bear her into that 
room and lock the door. (She is taken into r. i e. and door 
locked) Now then apply the torch and let their cry for help 
be answered by the roaring flames. (Lopez with a torch is 
seen to ignite the tow upon stairs , etc. Music. Flames ap¬ 
pear r. and L . Red fire wider stairs .*) 

Valdez. Now then out of the building everybody. 

(All exit r. i e. Elinora batters down the door with an axe 
after crying for help in vain. She runs over to Richard 
and unties him and begins to assist him up the stairs just 
as Valdez, Jasper, and followers enter hurriedly , l.) 

Valdez. By all the fiends, she has escaped from the 
room and is saving the American. Shoot! Shoot them 
down. It’s the Cuban spy ! 


* Arrange to make this an effective fire scene . 



THE CUBAN SPY 


31 


(Phelim and Carl enter l. u. e. with guns , and level them al 

villains.) 


Phelim. Shoot if you dare ! 

Carl. Down on your knees or I’ll pepper you full of 
holes. (They cover Elinora’s escape up the steps. Flames , 
smoke , etc., add to the picture. Valdez and men are huddled 
down l.) 


CURTAIN 


ACT III 


Scene. — Old sugar house used as headquarters and prison 
by Valdez {see scene plot). Music. Jasper and several 
Spanish guerillas discovered in room , l., some seated on 
boxes. Jasper at small table , examining papers by aid op 
candle. 

Jasper. We’ve done much better than we expected. 
The Captain will be pleased with our work. It won’t do to 
keep the prisoners in the other building—we’d better have 
them here where we can watch every movement. 

{Enter Sophie, l., a young Ingenue) 

Sophie. Oh, Mr. Jasper, I wanted to tell you that the 
prisoners are quarreling, and one threatens to throw the 
other out of the window. 

Jasper. I’ll bet it’s that Irishman. He’d try to quarrel 
with himself if he was the only one in the building. 

Sophie, i think that’s the very one that started the 
quarrel. He had the impudence to try to kiss me ! He 
asked me if I’d miss a kiss, and I said that I wouldn’t miss 
a kiss for anything, and he actually tried to kiss me then 
and there. 

Jasper. Bring the prisoners into this building. (Lopez 
exits L.) They will be much safer, and leave room for 
quieter ones. {To Sophie.) You had better remain away 
from our American prisoners. They are too bold and 
impudent. 

Sophie. Well, I rather like them to be smart and atten¬ 
tive ! I don’t like these drowsy kinds of men. Oh, if all 
Americans are like these prisoners, I’d like to get ac¬ 
quainted with them. 

Jasper. The acquaintance won’t last long—we’ll soon be 
rid of them. 

(Lopez brings in Carl and Phelim as prisoners , loaded 
down with chains , and seeming quite anxious to quarrel 
with each other) 

Phelim. I won’t be hitched up with the Dutch! The 
idea of chaining me to that barrel of sour krout. It’s an 
insult to Ireland, and I won’t stand it. 

3 2 


THE CUBAN SPY 


33 


Carl. Don’t put airs on! Don’t you think you’re afraid 
of me ! If you was twice as big as Ireland I wouldn’t care! 

I don’t want to be in company with you. Bite this chain in 
two, and you go my way and I’ll go yours! 

Phelim. You’ll not follow me around any more. Say 
you {to Jasper). Put this Dutchman into a jail by himself! 

Carl. Yes—give me a bridle chamber all to my lone¬ 
some ! Throw this in the cellar with the rats and the 
mices and the cockroaches. 

Phelim. If a rat would look at you it would have the 
jim-jams. 

Jasper. Enough of this quarreling. Be pleasant to each 
other, for at daybreak you are to be shot! 

Phelim. Well, I’d rather be shot than have this Dutch¬ 
man tagging around after me. {Sees Sophie.) Ah ! there’s 
the little beauty that brought my dinner to me ! Ah ! my, 
but she’s sweet; and you’re not married, are you ? 

Sophie. No, indeed; I’m still single. 

Phelim. Well, I don’t blame you for being single. 
Look at the mugs of the men around you ! They look like 
“Jo-Jo.” Then look at me—a fine, handsome man ! No 
wonder you’re crazy about me. Can you blame her ? Ah ! 
if I wasn’t chained up I’d make love to you and marry you 
in a minute ! 

Sophie. It’s too bad you are all chained up! I feel 
sorry for you. 

Phelim. You’re not half as sorry as I am ! 

Jasper {to Lopez). Place them in that room ! {Indicates 
room , R.) See that everything is secure ! 

(Lopez and a soldier attempt to put Phelim and Carl into 

room , r.) 

Phelim. Don’t shove me. Don’t put your dirty paws 
on me. Remember that President McKinley, Mark Hanna, 
and Jerry Simpson are looking at you! Don’t shove me, 
I tell you — ( They are placed in room , r., and door in par¬ 
tition locked.) Come in here, the whole lot of you, and I’ll 
wipe the floor up with you. I can lick the whole Spanish 
army and old Weyler thrown in! You’re afraid to come 
in here, you yaller-faced monkeys ! Speaking of monkeys, 
there’s a rat. {Suddenly spies an imaginary rat off right. 
Seizes a stiffed club from floor and makes a dive to strike 
the rat. The sudden movement and lurch to r. pulls Carl 
down sprawling to the floor , and as they both sprawl on the 
floor they begin to pummel each other. Lopez opens the 
door , comes in to separate them. Both turn on Lopez, kick 

3 


34 


THE CUBAN SPY 


and punch him until he dashes out of room , R., and hur¬ 
riedly closes and locks the door. Carl and Phelim shake 
hands and begin singing:) 

“ Oh, the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave 
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.” 

Phelim. Let them come in again and interfere in our 
family matters again ! 

Carl. Germany and Ireland is united again ! Three 
cheers for me and myself! 

Phelim. No, no ; three cheers for me ! 

Carl. Three cheers for the both of us. 

Jasper, (to Lopez) Don’t bother with them. Let them 
remain there until the Captain disposes of them. ( Whistle 
heard off l.) There is his signal. Something of importance 
has occurred! 

(Exit Jasper, Lopez, and Soldiers l. 3 e., leaving Sophie 

alone in room , L.) 

Phelim. I believe they’ve gone out! (Peers through key¬ 
hole of door.) There’s no one in there but the girl. Now, 
Carl—don’t let her look at your face, for you’ll frighten 
her! I’m going to telephone to her. ( Through keyhole) I 
say, young woman—Miss—a—Miss—a— 

Sophie. Sophie is my name ! 

Phelim. Well, Sophia, come over here. 

Sophie. I’m afraid to. If they catch me conversing with 
you there will be trouble. 

Phelim. A good smart, clever girl like you isn’t going 
to be caught! Come over, my angel. 

Carl. You could coax birds out of a tree ! You’re such 
a liar. 

(Sophie comes to door) 

Sophie. What do you want ? 

Phelim. Are the rapscallions all gone ? 

Sophie. They have gone into the other building. 

Phelim. Couldn’t you open the door for a minute ? 

Sophie. No, indeed! The key is in the lock, but I 
wouldn’t dare to touch it. 

Phelim. Ah ! you are a brave girl—beautiful and sweet 
as a hive full of honey! If I could only have another look 
at your sweet face I could die content. Just turn the key 
in the lock—that’s a good girl. 

Carl. Yes ; just twist it, twist it. 


THE CUBAN SPY 


35 


Phelim. Shut up! There’s no blarney in you! Your 
head is full of smearcase. (To Sophie) Go ahead, Sophie, 
dear—pretty little Sophie ! 

Sophie. I’m sure they’ll be real angry if I open this 
door. There’s a whole bunch of keys in the door. 

Phelim. I won’t run away—we can’t—we’re chained 
hand and foot. 

Carl. Yes; we’re two pug dogs chained up. 

Phelim. Shut up, will you ! (To Sophie) Sophie! if ever 
I get away from here, and I can induce you to go to the 
United States, I’ll marry you. My father owns the United 
States mint, where they make all the money. 

Carl. And my father owns a lot of pepper mint, where 
they make mint juleps ! 

Sophie. I’m so afraid I’ll be caught by the soldiers. 
(Unlocks door)) There! I’ve unlocked the door, but you 
mustn’t come out. 

Phelim. Why, of course not! Ah, Sophie, you’re an 
angel. I’ll buy you a pair of wings! 

Carl. Yes ; then you’ll be “ fly.” 

(Phelim conies out , dragging Carl with him.) 

Phelim. How can I ever repay you, my darling Sophie, 
for your kindness (embraces her). There’s a kiss for you. 
(Carl tries to kiss her , but Phelim prevents him) Not 
you. You’re not in this. You don’t belong to our lodge. 

Carl. Well, I’m grateful, same as you are. 

Phelim. That may be, but you don’t kiss Sophie. 
Sophie belongs to me. The idea of you trying to kiss 
Sophie ! Why, it’s obstropulous ! 

(Jasper heard outside , l.) 

Jasper. Very well, Captain. It shall be attended to at 
once. 

Sophie. Oh, they are returning! Quick, get into the 
room, so I can lock the door! 

Phelim. No; we’ll lock the door. (Takes bunch of keys) 
We’ll lock ourselves in. 

Sophie. Oh, no ; that won’t do. 

Phelim. Oh, yes, it will, Sophie darling. Sh — There’s 
some one coming. Sneak out quick as you can. I’ll meet 
you in here or outside. Go on, Sophie, if you love me! 
Be quick and skip! 

Sophie. Oh, I don’t know how this will end! 

(She exits , l.) 


3^ 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Phelim. I wish I did. Now then, Carl, try these keys 
and let’s get the jewelry off of us. ( Tries keys.) Ah, here’s 
one! Hurroo! Erin go bragh! It’s opened! 

Carl. “ De Wacht am Rhine ! Kattufel salad and bum- 
pernickel!” mine’s off, too! ( They put chains into room , r.) 

Phelim. Now then for liberty, and legs do your duty. 

(Just as they are about to exit , l., Bridget’s voice is heard 

Off L.) 

Bridget. Will I ever find the right way out of here at 
all ? 

Phelim. Murder in Irish, I’m in the soup! ( They start 
back toward partition as Bridget enters , l. She recognizes 
Phelim and utters a cry of surprise) 

Bridget. So I’ve got you at last, have I ? What have 
you got to say for yourself? 

Phelim. (to Carl) Get me out of this, and I’ll never for¬ 
get you. 

Carl, (aside to Phelim) Pretend that you’re crazy; act 
natural. (Crosses over to Bridget) My dear woman, don’t 
you see what’s the matter ? 

Bridget. I see that I’ve got him, and he’ll not get away 
from me, either. 

Carl. Look at his eyes ; look at that face ; it looks like 
a slice of fried pie. Look at that mouth ; it ain’t got any 
express complexion about it. Don’t you see what’s the 
matter? De man is a lunaticle. He’s crazy. (To Phelim) 
Act like you was in de bug house—crazy, foolish. 

Bridget. Phelim McNab crazy, is he? 

Carl. He’s got rats in his garret. Look at him. He’s 
got soap suds coming out of his mouth. (Phelim begins a 
few violent contortions ; twists his legs , grimaces a?id finally 
utters a yell. Bridget in alarm releases him and dodges 
behind Car l for protection .) 

Carl. Look him in the eye ! Don’t take your eyes off 
of him! He’ll kill the whole two both of us. 

Phelim. You are my grandfather and you are my grand¬ 
mother ! I am a bicycle ! 

Bridget. He takes me for a velocipede and you for a 
wheelbarrow! 

Phelim. I’m a scorcher! Phew! See me going up a 
hill and down a hill! Is my lamp lit? Is my lamp lit? 

Carl. He’s turned into a lamp-post! Poor fellow! He 
don’t know what I’m doing or what he did! He’s crazy as 
a bedbug. 

Phelim. Hurrah! I’ve found a knife! (Feels in pocket .) 


THE CUBAN SPY 


37 


I’ll kill you both and make you into rubber tires for my 
wheels! Your fat will make oil for my lamp and your 
bones will be spokes for my wheels! I’ll paint the bike 
red with your blood ! 

Carl. I’ll be darned if you do! You don’t grease your 
bike with my oleomargarine! 

Bridget. Hold him! Hold him! 

Carl. Hold him yourself. I don’t want him to bite me. 

Bridget. Don’t let him come near me! Are you a 
man ? 

Carl. Yes, but I’m not working at it. Do you take me 
for a fool to try to hold dot wild crazy Irishman ? No, sir! 
I’m no loonitical asylum ! 

Phelim. Stand where you are, both of you—the woman 
in particular. I’ll have her life or I’ll kill her! 

Bridget. Bad luck to you, you’ll not murder me if I 
know it ! {Short and wild chase ensues , and Phelim, yelling 
like an Indian , chases them both off l. 2 e.) 

Phelim. That’s the way to get rid of her! The Dutch¬ 
man’s advice was good. She'll not bother me any more. 
{Laughs) The crazy business is a great thing. 

Carl. Well, Irish, I done it up in style for you, didn’t I. 
Shake. {They shake hands) Wasn’t it a lucky thing I 
thought to make you crazy? 

Phelim. I haven’t enjoyed myself so well since I had the 
“ newmonia !” ( While they are thus laughing and compli¬ 

menting each other Bridget enters at back from l. and comes 
doivn between them. They are laughing and hitting each other 
on the back. Suddenly Carl looks up and sees her. He 
droops and falls with astonishment'. Phelim then sees her , 
and begins a wild series of contortions to impress her with his 
“ crazy antics .” 

Bridget. You can’t work that on me. I’m on to your 
tricks. You’re crazy, are you ? And this Dutchman wants 
to make a fool of me, does he ? I’ll bring you to your 
senses, so I will. {Beats Carl with umbrella. He runs off 
L. 2 e. Phelim tries to dodge her , but she seizes him by the 
coat. He slips out of his coat and escapes l. 2 e.) You’ll 
not get away from me again. {Sees coat) Well! He’s 
skinned out of his coat like an eel. Stop him ! Stop the 
crazy man ! {Chases off after Phelim, waving the coat) 

(Lopez enters l.) 

Lopez. There’s that wild Irishwoman again. She seems 
to be everywhere we go. {Goes over to partition) Hello ! 
The door is opened {looks in) and the prisoners gone! 


38 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Here’s a nice fix. If the Captain finds it out I’ll be shot in¬ 
stead of them. {Finds keys.) I’ll just lock the door and 
keep mum about it. Oh, these Americans! these Amer¬ 
icans ! Now you’ve got ’em and now you haven’t got ’em! 

{Enter Valdez, l. Jasper and men follow in, having 
Richard bound and a prisoner .) 

Valdez. For the short time you have to remain on 
earth this will be your place of safe keeping, and I assure 
you that the Cuban spy will not lend a helping hand to 
your escape. Make your peace with heaven, for your time 
is short. 

Richard. Fool that I was not to see through your dis¬ 
guise and clumsy plot to entrap me. 

Valdez. You will admit that you Americans are not as 
smart as you give yourselves credit to be. 

Richard. In treachery and low cunning you excel any 
other race of people. Is it manly to drug a man and then 
leave him to perish in the flames ? Is this the boasted 
courage of Weyler’s representative? 

Valdez. Fume and fret as much as you like. I laid the 
trap for you and you stepped into it. Your friend the 
Cuban spy has brought you to a nice pass. 

Richard. You pretended to be a friend of the patriots 
while in the States. You are doubly a scoundrel for such 
pretensions. You persecute a woman and you are a cur 
and a coward for doing so. 

Valdez. That woman is in my way and I have ample 
reasons for her removal. As to the patriots, misguided 
wretches, one and all, they’ll either hang or be shot down 
soon as captured. 

Richard. That is your mode of warfare, is it? Guer¬ 
rillas, robbers, cut-throats ! 

Valdez. We conduct our warfare to suit ourselves, and 
we will not ask the American government for its advice on 
that matter. If you are a citizen of that boastful nation, 
what are you doing over here ? 

Richard. Aiding by my voice and means the inde¬ 
pendence of Cuba! Joining the struggling men.who are 
seeking to free themselves from the hated rule of Spain 
and such wretches as yourself and the craven Weyler! 

Valdez. Put a bridle upon your tongue ! 

Richard. I have not yet been taken with arms in my 
possession, nor in an act of hostility. I have a right as a 
man to express my opinion, and I shall continue to do so. 

Valdez. You have been captured, you’ll admit. 


THE CUBAN SPY 


39 


Richard. By treachery, as the brave Maceo was taken 
and murdered. But there is a day of retribution for such as 
you and your master in Havana ! 

p Valdez. Think of your own fate. Your life hangs by a 
single thread. Lopez, did you remove the prisoners in 
that room to place this one in it ? 

Lopez, {hesitates) No—yes—I mean—the room is empty, 
as you ordered! 

Valdez. Conduct the American into it. See that the 
ropes are tight and secure. When next you emerge from 
that room it will be for your execution. 

Richard. I defy you ! 

Valdez. Will you tell me where to find that girl—the 
spy? 

Richard. No ; I would rather die than speak a single 
word that would place her in the power of such a villain as 
you are. {Exit Richard.) 

{Music. Elinor a attired as a Sister of Charity or “ Red 

Cross" Society.) 

Elinora. I came to offer consolation to those con¬ 
demned and about to die. 

Valdez. They do not need it, nor would they accept it, 
I am sure. 

Elinora. All men need consolation in their last hours. 
No matter how wicked, there is still a desire to repent on 
the part of all who have led evil lives when death is at 
hand. 

Valdez. These Americans seem to care for nothing ! 
While I do not wish to prevent you in your work of mercy, 
you will find it fruitless and barren of good results. 

Elinora. I am sure of good results, if the prisoner will 
but listen to my words of consolation. 

Valdez. But he is a heartless villain ! 

Elinora. Let him who is without sin cast the first 
stone ! Would you see him die unprepared ? 

Valdez. It matters not to me. I obey my military rules 
and my commanding officer. 

Elinora. Has General Weyler condemned this Ameri¬ 
can so soon to death ? 

Valdez. I am commanding this detachment of Spanish 
volunteers. This man is a spy, and he has been captured 
with important documents in his possession. 

Elinora. Are you speaking the truth ? 

Valdez. I am ! But visit the prisoner if you will. His 



40 


THE CUBAN SPY 


time is short, therefore you have but a few moments to 
ease his conscience. 

Elinora. A few moments will be sufficient! 

Valdez. Lopez, admit her to the room ! (Lopez opens 
door —Elinora slowly entersl) Lopez — hearken to every 
word uttered ! ( Lopez listens at half-open door). 

Elinora (to Richard). I came to offer words of conso¬ 
lation ! You are soon to die, and innocent or guilty you 
should be prepared. (Richard looks up , and recog?iizes 
her.) 

Richard. Elinora! 

Elinora. Richard! You here! (Makes a war?iing 
motion to lip , and speaks low ) ’Sli! We are observed, and 
every word listened to ! (louder) Think of your fate, and 
be prepared to meet it. 

Richard. I am ! I came to Cuba to aid in a glorious 
cause. I am in the hands of the merciless guerillas, but I 
will die an American, breathing defiance to the end, and 
shouting “ Cuba Libre !” 

Elinora. We should forgive our enemies. Here ! 
(lower) I place this pistol within your breast. Make good 
use of it should needs be. (As she speaks , she places a 
revolver within his vest) Do not despair! I will never 
desert you! (rises) Farewell! Meet your fate as becomes 
a brave man, and trust to One above who hearkens to those 
in affliction—He who rewards the innocent and punishes 
the guilty. (Passes out of room —Lopez locks the door.) 
The prisoner is prepared. I have succeeded in obtaining 
good results. 

Valdez. I am pleased to think you have succeeded! 

Elinora. Considering the surroundings, better than I 
expected. 

Valdez. I may require your kind services soon. I 
need consolation at times. 

Elinora. When that time arrives, rest assured I will be 
present, I hope. (Exits, l.) 

Valdez, (to Lopez) Follow her, see where she goes, and 
report everything to me. I half distrust her. And Lopez, 
let me warn you about drinking—keep your head clear. 
There is important work ahead for us. 

Lopez. I’m not drinking, sir! 

Valdez. 1 warn you to remain sober. Follow that 
person, and be quick about it. (Lopez exits , l. He has 
been showing■ signs of liquor since he entered) Jasper, I 
think we had best avoid further delay. 

Jasper. In which way? 


THE CUBAN SPY 


41 


Valdez. This American has crossed me several times, 
and the sooner we dispose of him the better. His govern¬ 
ment will never make inquiries after him, and furthermore, 
he is here in arms against us. 

Jasper. He has not been captured in open warfare nor 
has he as yet committed any act against our government. 

Vbldez. Very true. But what does that matter? We 
have Americans and Cubans in jail for doing much less, 
and who is to prevent us from putting them out of the way 
if we condemn them ? 

Jasper. That’s very true. This American has interfered 
in your personal matters and you now have the power to 
remove him. 

Valdez. Yes, and I’ll do it. Jasper, you don’t know the 
danger surrounding me while that Cuban spy lives. So far 
she has not identified me, and I do not propose to give her 
the opportunity. Do you see this ? {Shows mark m palm 
of hand) 

Jasper. A brand! A brand that could be recognized 
anywhere. 

Valdez. So far she has not seen it, and I’ll take precious 
good care that she won’t. {Enter Lopez, l.) Well, what 
did you discover ? 

Lopez. Nothing. She went into the other building and 
then I lost track of her altogether. 

Valdez. You addle-headed fool! I told you to follow 
close upon her track. You’ve been drinking again. 

Lopez. ’Pon my word, Captain, I’m sober as a judge. 

Valdez. Watch the building and bring me all the infor¬ 
mation possible. Go. (Lopez exits , l., partially, stagger¬ 
ing .) It won’t do to trust that fellow with any important 
mission. He’s growing worse and worse. Now about this 
American. I have decided to rid myself of him at once. 

Jasper. We are here to obey! 

{Enter Sophie, l.) 

Sophie. Captain, did you know that one of the prisoners 
has escaped. 

Jasper. Escaped! Which one ? 

Sophie, {hesitates) The fat one—the German. I saw him 
running away like a race horse. He’s the only one I saw. 
I didn’t see the other one, the real nice one—indeed I 
didn’t. I didn’t see him at all. {Begins to cry.) I don’t 
know where he is. I didn’t see him. 

Valdez. No one has accused you of complicity. You 


42 


THE CUBAN SPY 


saw one of them running away, did you ? Which way did 
he go—over the right ? 

Sophie. No ; over the left. 

Valdez. Give the alarm at once. He may be recap¬ 
tured. 

(Jasper exits with men, l.) 

Sophie. I’m so glad they won’t catch the Irishman! Oh, 
but he’s cunning, and he knows just how to kiss a girl! 
{Exits, l.) 

{Enter Jasper and, guerillas, having Elinor A in charge. 

They bring her c. She is attired as “ rebel ” Cuban boy.) 

Jasper. Captain, you are in rare luck. Look. Do you 
recognize this person? We found her close to this build¬ 
ing. 

Valdez, {gazes at her) The Cuban spy! 

Elinora. Yes, the Cuban spy! But it took a dozen of 
your “ brave ” men to bring Little Cuba to their brave com¬ 
mander. 

Valdez. So you are masquerading in the costume of the 
Cuban rebels. 

Elinora. Not Cuban rebels—Cuban patriots; men striv¬ 
ing to gain independence for their country. I am not mas¬ 
querading, as you are; I am just what you see me. I am 
not a hypocrite, pretending to aid a cause and willfully be¬ 
traying my fellow-men to the merciless Spaniard. 

Richard. Elinora is in their hands ! Why did she ven¬ 
ture here again ? 

Valdez. You possess valuable information concerning 
the insurgents. What is their strength ? Where are they 
at present ? Give me a list of their leaders and you are 
free to go. 

Elinora. Not if you were to doom me to a death of 
tortures. I am a Cuban, and I never betray my com¬ 
panions. 

Valdez. But it means life to you. 

Elinora. I will never purchase life with dishonor. You 
may kill me if you will, but you cannot force me to speak. 

Valdez, {crosses to c.) Were you not a woman I would 
strike you to my feet. 

Elinora. And if you were a man you wouldn’t threaten 
a woman. 

Valdez. Don’t tempt me too far or I’ll forget that you 
are a woman. 

Elinora. That would be nothing new to you. You 


THE CUBAN SPY 43 

sought my life on the blockade runner and encouraged 
your ruffianly crew to destroy me. 

Valdez. Silence, or ( produces pistol ) I’ll end your 
career. 

Elinora. I see that, and I go you one better. {Levels 
revolvers at Valdez.) Brave men ! ( Laughs) You shrink 
from a woman. The first one who makes a movement 
toward his belt dies upon the spot. Place that weapon 
upon the floor! (Valdez does so.) And you {to Jasper) 
follow suit. {She compels them to place weapo?is upon the 
floor. Soon as all have laid arms upo?i the floor , Phelim, 
attired as counterpart of Lopez, staggers in l. He makes 
his way toward Elinora, and behind her as she is command¬ 
ing the guerillas to lay down their arms. Soo?i as Valdez 
sees Lopez he becomes reassured.) 

Valdez. Seize her, Lopez, quick! Disarm her! 

Phelim. I’m not Lopez, but Phelim McNab, at your serv¬ 
ice. {Throws off hat and shows features.) I’m with the 
Cuban spy. {Levels pistol at them) 

Valdez. Tricked again ! and by these Americans ! 

Phelim. Make way there, you yaller-faced gorrillas. 
Pick up the artillery, Elinora ! {She picks up weapons.) Now, 
then, retreat in good order, with your face to the foe ! 

Elinora. And if harm comes to the American prisoner 
we’ll burn down this building and every Spaniard in it. 
Phelim! away for our friends while I hold these brave men 
at bay! 

Phelim. Don’t take your eyes off of them. Pop them 
over if they look cross-eyed! We can lick a million of 
consumptive monkeys like this. Oh, but you’re a pudding 
for us. {Exits L.) 

Elinora. I will be at this door; make but a single hos¬ 
tile movement and I’ll fire. The Cuban band of patriots 
are close at hand. Harm Richard Carson at your peril! the 
Cuban spy is still your master! {She exits l., covering Val¬ 
dez and his followers with her revolvers as she exits backing 
off; then she closes the door , l.) 

Valdez. Why do you all stand petrified! Are you all 
afraid of a woman ? 

Jasper. Captain, you didn’t appear to be any too anx¬ 
ious to face those revolvers yourself. The girl is desperate 
and she meant business. 

Valdez. She has taken our arms and she says the rebels 
are close by. 

Jasper. Our arms are not all gone! (Little Cuba is 
seen at grated window in Richard’s room) 


44 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Valdez. Not all gone ? Where have you enough to arm 
your men ? 

Jasper. In the prisoners’ room ! There are rifles loaded 
and ready for use. 

Valdez. Loaded and ready for use ? 

Jasper. I loaded them myself. 

{By this time Elinora has entered Richard’s room. She 
motions him to be quiet , and searching i?i a corner sees the 
rifles stacked behind some bags and boxes l. u. corner l) 

Valdez. Then I will put them into immediate use. 
Jasper. To repel the attack ? 

Valdez. No —to shoot that American dog. That will be 
one less standing in my way. 

{During this conversation Elinora is seen to remove the 
cartridges from the rifles and cast them away.) 

Jasper. Then the quicker you carry out your threat the 
better. 

{Soon as possible Elinora unties Richard’s arms. She has 
barely time to do this when Jasper is at the door unlock¬ 
ing it.) 

Elinora. {to Richard) Fear not—friends are near you. 
{She hides behind bags up stage; the door is opened by 
Jasper.) 

Valdez. Take those rifles and shoot down the American. 

{Rifles are passed out by Jasper to men who aim at Richard 

as they stand at open door.) 

Valdez. The Cuban spy vowed to save you! Let her 
do so now, my bold American. {To men) Take good aim 
—Fire! 

{Music. Guns miss fire. Richard instantly shows that his 
hands are free , and he produces a pistol from bosom. 
Elinora jumps out from hiding place with brace of re¬ 
volvers leveled at Valdez and men.) 

Elinora. Surrender, in the name of the Republic of 
Cuba and the United States of America. 

(Phelim and Carl, with guns , appear from l., thus hem¬ 
ming in the Spaniards and placing them between two fires. 
Phelim and Carl dancing with joy. Elinora and Rich¬ 
ard in room , r., keeping ruffians in c.) 


» 


curtain 


ACT IV 


Scene. —Handsome parlor. Hotel at Pinar del Rio. See 

scene plot. 

{Music. Enter Richard ; evening dress.) 

Richard. The American Minister is to call and receive 
a delegation of American citizens here in Cuba, to investi¬ 
gate the outrages. A reception is to be given in his honor, 
and I dare say that for the present our troubles are over. 

{Enter Carl, door c., extravagant missfit suit.) 

Carl. Ah! Mr. Carson, we’re right in it now. When 
they see me they’ll drop dead. I hunted all over this place 
for a nice suit, and I got it. 

Richard. You look very well, indeed. 

(Phelim heard outside.) 

Phelim. You needn’t bother yourself; I’ll find the par¬ 
lor. This isn’t the first time I’ve been in a hotel, by a 
“ darn site.” {Enters door , c., eccentric full dress.) Hello, 
fellers! How’s my togs ? I don’t feel at home in these 
dude fixings. It’s like being in a straight jacket. What’s 
going on here to-night ? {Sees Carl) Ah! get on to the 
bag of oats ! Now you do look like a bologna sausage. 

Carl. Well, I don’t look like a whiskey barrel, anyway. 

Phelim. Indeed you don’t, for if you did I’d tap you in 
a minute. But tell us, Mr. Carson, where’s the General ? 

Richard. The General? 

Phelim. Yes, the General! Elinora, the Cuban spy. 
The one that got us out of all the scrapes ! 

Richard. She’ll be here in a moment. 

Phelim. I hope she’s not flirting with any of those 
Spanish galoots. 

Richard. At present the Spaniards are far from this 
town. This place is in the hands of a few patriot Cubans. 
After defeating Valdez and placing him in the hands of the 
Cubans, we came here to take part in the American min¬ 
ister’s investigations. He is expected here shortly. 

Phelim. I don’t care for him! I want to see “our” 
General. I’ve gone to a lot of trouble to get fixed up to 
dazzle her, and I’m here to dazzle. 

Richard You shall be gratified, for here she is. 

45 


46 THE CUBAN SPY 

{Music. Elinora enters in evening costume , door , c. 

Comedians have business of extravagant bowing r. and L., 

kicking up their heels.) 

Phelim. My, oh, my ! But ain’t she pretty as a hum¬ 
ming-bird ! 

Carl. She’s beautiful as my picture ! 

Phelim. Shut up! What do you know about beauty, 
anyway ? 

Elinora. Gentlemen, I am pleased to see you, but wish 
to say this : Do not fancy that we rest here in security, for 
scouts have been coming in and going out of the city all the 
afternoon. It may be that Weyler’s men have approached 
the city. 

Phelim. That’s all right. I can fight in these togs just 
as well as I can in my working clothes. 

Carl. Yes : I don’t care if 1 get shot all dressed up ! 

Richard. With your permission I will go at once and 
investigate. Come, Carl—I may need you ! Elinora ! You 
will kindly excuse me! {Exits, door , c.) 

Carl. You will kindly excuse myself! {Bows and exits.) 

Phelim. The dude clothes will drive that Dutchman 
crazy ! {sits in chair) My, but I can’t keep my eyes off of 
you—you look so pretty ! 

{Enter Valdez, r. i e. He pauses as he recognizes 

Elinora.) 

Valdez. So — we meet again, but the meeting is not 
quite unexpected! 

Elinora. Why are you here ? 

Valdez. To appear before the American minister and 
refute the fabrications that will be told him. 

Elinora. You are very bold to venture here. Are you 
aware that I can deliver you into the hands of General 
Maximo Gomez ? 

Valdez. Indeed! And if you do so you will be kind 
enough to say that you found me in the regular service of 
the Spanish government. 

Elinora. I will do nothing of the kind. You made 
war upon the poor Cubans as pirates upon the high seas. 
You lack the manhood to enlist in the Spanish regulars. 
You prefer to be a robber, a villain, and to fight as savages. 
You must take the consequences. 

Valdez. But who can prove that I was not an enlisted 
man ? 

Elinora. I can! I know you, Roderigo Valdez. I 





THE CUBAN SPY 


47 


know you thoroughly. When Richard Carson was in your 
power you made ready to shoot him down like a dog. 
When you discovered me upon the blockade runner you 
sought my life. You have never spared any one who fell 
into your hands. You are a traitor to the cause of Cuba. 
You have betrayed every leader of our struggling army. 
You showed no mercy. So expect none in return. 

Phelim. Hurrah! That’s the kind of talk. When St. 
Patrick drove all the snakes out of Ireland some of them 
got over here, and I’ll bet that his great grandfather was an 
anaconda or a sea serpent, or the daddy of all the snakes. 

Valdez. Very well. I am forearmed. 

Elinora. Phelim, mount the horse which is saddled 
and ready in the court-yard. Take this message to General 
Gomez. ( Gives paper to Phelim. Carl appears at door.) 

Phelim. But I never rode a horse in all my life. Let 
the Dutchman go. 

Carl. Oh, no! You don’t catch me on the back of a 

horse. 

Phelim. All right. I’ll chance it. Keep your eye on 
that villain, Carl. Good-bye Helen Matanzas. Your 
molasses obeys you. ( Exits c. d.) 

Carl. Is that Irishman going to ride a horse ? Good¬ 
bye, Irishman. ( Stands at window and speaks) There he 
goes. He’s climbing on the horse’s back. Now he’s try¬ 
ing to hold on. Now the horse is trying to stand on his 
head. Now the horse is dancing a jig—and—and now 
they’re off. {Horse imitation of clattering hoofs and they 
die away) 

Valdez, {aside) She has sent a message to Gomez. If it 
reaches him and I am taken, all is lost. I must warn my 
followers. {Aloud) I leave you to your excellent friend. I 
assure you that we will meet again^shortly. 

{Exits R. i e., bowing coldly) 

Carl. Go to the donner und blitzen ! 

Elinora. Carl, follow that man! See where he goes 
and whom he meets. Don’t lose track of him. 

Carl. I’ll stick to him like a porous plister. 

{Exits r. i e.) 

Elinora. I must warn Richard at once. Valdez is here 
for mischief. 

{Exits l. i e. Enter Bridget, c. d.) 

Bridget. Well, it seems that the more I learn the less 1 


4 8 


THE CUBAN SPY 


know. And the further I walk the more I travel. I’ve been 
on the track of Phelim McNab and caught him, and when 
I’d catch him I wouldn’t have him. I never saw such a lot 
of contradictions in all my life, and here I am trying to catch 
a runaway lover that as soon as I catch him I haven’t got 
him. I’ll leave Cuba, for I’m disgusted with everything and 
everybody! 

{Enter Richard, d. c.) 

Richard. I must confess that I am in the toils of Cupid 
at last. Elinora has been far more dangerous than the bul¬ 
lets of the Spaniards, for her eyes have reached my heart 
and made me a willing prisoner. 

(Bridget conies dow?i behind him and suddenly throws her 

arms around him.) 

Bridget. Oh, Captain dear! You’re just the very one to 
aid a poor, distressed woman whose heart is breaking, and 
all on account of love! 

Richard. Yes, my good woman, I’m willing to aid you, 
but not quite so willing to accept this demonstration of affec¬ 
tion. ( Attempts to release himself.) 

Bridget. Any port in a storm ! My heart needs conso¬ 
lation, and I can’t bear to be alone in my grief. 

(Elinora enters , l.) 

Elinora. Ah, ha! My fickle Captain, I have caught you, 
have I ? Keep right on. Don’t mind me. Don’t let me put 
a stop to your love-making. {Aside) I’d like to scratch her 
eyes out. 

Richard. But I assure you that I am not in the act of 
love-making. Please don’t go. ( To Bridget) Remove your 
arms. What do you mean ? 

Bridget. I want somebody to protect me, and you’re 
just the one! (Richard removes her arms.) 

Elinora. I did not know that you could find time for 
love-making while surrounded by our enemies. But pray, 
don’t stop on my account. I wouldn’t for the world inter¬ 
fere between sweethearts! It was so mean of me to come 
in so abruptly—but I couldn’t help it. 

Richard. Why will you misunderstand everything and 
tantalize me in this manner? 

Elinora. You seem to enjoy the misunderstanding very 
much, and I’m sure it is not very tantalizing to have a lady’s 
arms about your neck, is it ? {Laughs.) Ah! Americans are 
such peculiar people. 


THE CUBAN SPY 49 

Bridget. I came over to Cuba to find a husband, and I 
won’t go back without one. 

Elinora. The Captain will make a most lovable one, 
I’m sure. But go on—arrange for the wedding—and the 
honeymoon. I wish you joy, Mr. Carson ! 

Richard. Enough of this nonsense! (To Bridget) Go 
and seek your promised husband and do not annoy me 
again. ( Crosses , r.) 

Bridget. Oh, very well! There’s just as good fish in 
the sea as ever was caught—but I’m not going to spend all 
my days a fishing! Farewell to you. I’ll find my Phelim 
McNab without the help of either one of you ! You’re jeal¬ 
ous of my good looks; and the next time I look for conso¬ 
lation I’ll not come to you. If you see Mr. McNab, “Just 
tell him that you saw me.” ( Exits c. d.) 

Elinora. By the way, do you know that danger 
threatens. 

Richard. Perhaps it is an idle rumor. So far I have 
heard nothing to alarm us. 

Elinora. This is no time for surmises. I have sent a 
message to General Gomez for help ; meanwhile the pris¬ 
oners must be looked after. Valdez is a most dangerous 
man, either as a captive or at liberty. 

Richard. Not half as dangerous as you are. 

Elinora. Or Bridget Monahan! I dare say you are 
lonesome, now that she is gone and your love-making is at 
an end. ( Crosses to sofa , r.) 

Richard. Please be serious for a moment. We are in 
danger until we reach the patriot camp. I ask the privilege 
of remaining with you to protect you—if need be, to die 
for you. 

Elinora. Extends, then, your devotion so far? 

Richard. It is a man’s duty to protect a woman—at all 
places—under all circumstances. 

Elinora. Is there no other reason ? 

Richard. Do you wish me to be perfectly frank with you ? 

Elinora. Does not the danger which surrounds us war¬ 
rant naught but candor? 

Richard. Then it will be a pleasure to defend you—for, 
Elinora, I love you. ( Crosses to l.) 

Elinora. You love me? You know nothing concerning 
me. You know me only as Elinora—one who pursues a 
villain to avenge a father’s murder. You know me as the 
Cuban spy—a waif—a spy in the cause of Cuba to further 
my plans and to aid my country. Yet you tell me that you 
love me ? 

4 


5o 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Richard. I do. You are dearer to me than life. {Puls 
arm about her.) 

Elinora. When retribution has overtaken my father’s 
destroyer, I will say, Richard Carson, I love you ! 

{E?iter Bridget at back , l.) 

Bridget. Ah, ha! What do I see ? Oh, don’t stop on 
my account. I wouldn’t for the world interfere between 
sweethearts. It was mean of me to bounce in here so dis¬ 
reputably, but I couldn’t help it. Arrange for the wedding 
and the honeymoon. Americans are such peculiar people. 
(Richard and Elinora exit , l., laughing .) Everybody is 
going daffy around here. There’s another poor man gone ! 
Oh, my! oh, my! what poor luck I have with the men. I 
wish I could find a rabbit’s foot for luck ! {Exits, L.) 

{Enter Phelim at back) 

Phelim. I succeeded all right. I met one of the Gen¬ 
eral’s men coming towards this stockade, and I gave him 
the message, and I walked back. I wouldn’t ride on that 
horse’s back for a fortune. I’m not a circus rider, by any 
means. 

{Enter Sophie, r. i e.) 

Sophie. Ah, there you are ! {Runs to him) I’ve been 
looking for you everywhere since you left the old sugar- 
house. {Puts arm around him) I was so lonesome that I 
had to start out to find you. You don’t seem glad to see 
me. 

Phelim. Oh, yes, I am. I’m as glad as if I’d lost a leg. 

Sophie. And I came so far to see you ! 

Phelim. Of course you have, and I was just going to 
start on a trip to see you. {Enter Bridget at back , l. 
Stands horrified at seeing them) And I was about to say— 
{Discovers Bridget) Oh ! Holy Moses and blue blazes ! 

Sophie. Where ? 

Phelim. (l. c., points toward Bridget. Sophie screams 
and faints in his arms. Bridget comes down c.) 

Bridget. Who’s that woman you’re holding in your 
arms ? 

Phelim. Which arms ? Which woman ? 

Bridget. That woman there ! 

Phelim. {points to Sophie) Oh, this! You mean this 
woman here ? Well, well—this woman here ? 

Bridget. Yes, I mean that woman there. How came 
she there ? 


THE CUBAN SPY 


51 


Phelim. Yes ; how came she there ! This woman came 
here, and that’s how she got there—and there she is, and 
here she is. 

Bridget. Who is she ? I’ve asked you ! 

Phelim. Who is she ? Oh ! you want to know who she 
is. Oh ! she’s a she—can’t you see she’s a woman ? 

Bridget. I ask you for the last time, Who is that 
woman in your arms ? 

Phelim. ( aside to Sophie) It’s a crazy woman—we’ll 
have to humor her. (Aloud) This woman, madam, is—is— 
my sister Sadie. 

Sophie. Not Sadie—Sophie. 

Phelim. Yes—Sophie—Sadie ! 

Bridget. Your sister! You never told me you had a 
sister. 

Phelim. Well, I didn’t know it myself. You see I was 
away from home when it happened ! 

Bridget. So this is your sister ? 

Phelim. Yes—my own dear sister Stella ! 

Bridget. Stella! You said her name was Sophie Sadie ! 

Phelim. So it is—Sophie Sadie Stella. She can have 
as many names as she likes. It’s none of my business. 

Bridget. Well, how old is your sister ? 

Phelim. She’s older than me—I mean I’m younger than 
she is, of course. You see I’m twenty-four, and Sarah is 
twenty-one. 

Bridget. Sarah! I thought you said her name was 
Sophie Sadie Stella ? 

Phelim. So it is—Sophie Sadie Stella Sarah ! Oh, she’s 
got names to burn ! She’s got lots of names—and that’s all 
she’s got. Now, you see, when Susan was born— 

Bridget. Susan ! Susan ! Is her name Susan now ? 

Phelim. No —not Susan Now—Susan McNab—Sophie 
Sadie Stella Sarah Susan—now do you see ? 

Bridget. Yes, I see. 

Phelim. Well, that’s more than I do ! 

Sophie. Who is this woman ! 

Phelim. (aside to Sophie) Hush! A crazy woman! 
She has an idea that I’m in love with her. We’ll keep it up ! 

Bridget. What are you whispering about ? 

Phelim. Whispering here to Salantha ! 

Bridget. Salantha! You just said her name was a 
whole lot of names and Susan ! 

Phelim. Of course I did—but we call her Salantha for 
short. Salantha is the Irish for Susan, 

Bridget. Where was Salantha born ? 


5 2 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Phelim. At home, of course ! 

Bridget. I mean where, and when ? 

Phelim. Ask her yourself—she was present at the time 

I wasn’t. 

Bridget. Was she born in Ireland, or wasn’t she ? 

Phelim. I think she was born away from Ireland—I’m 
not sure. You see I was over in America at the time, and 
I got a telegraph, saying—“ you’ve got a sister, and it’s a 
female !” 

Bridget. I think you’re telling me a lie, and I’ll find out 
for myself. Stand out of my way, and I’ll investigate this! 

Phelim. Go ahead! Investigations never amount to 
anything. 

Bridget. Well, I’ll make this amount to something or 
I’ll break every bone in your body. 

(Bridget goes over to Sophie in a very threatening manner) 

Phelim. Now, ladies, don’t fight over me as if I was a 
bone or a mouse. 

Bridget. I want to know by what right you allow this 
man to put his arms around you. He’s not your brother, 
and you’re not his sister. 

Sophie. And by what right do you question me about 
this handsome man ? 

Bridget. Because he promised to marry me. 

Sophie. He promised the same thing to me. 

Bridget. Oh, the bigamist—the trigamist! I’ll settle it 
right here. 

Phelim. Settle it among yourselves. I’ve got a divorce 
from you both. {He rushes up stage and escapes c. d. Both 
women chasing after him and shouting , “ Stop him / ” “Head 
him off T “ Stop him ! ” “ Stop our husband / ” etc., and amid 
much bustle exit after him , pushing each other out of the way 
to overtake Phelim and get him first) 

(Carl enters , r. i e.) 

Carl. I guess that feller won’t make us any trouble. 
He is sitting on the piazza smoking a cigaroot. I’ve got 
somebody watching him, all right. 

m 

{Enter Elinor a, r.) 

Elinora. (l. c.) Is that you, Carl ? 

Carl. Oh, she calls me Carl. Lie still, my pilpertating 
heart, lie still. {Aloud) Yes, it is your own Carl—your 
Carlo. Oh, Helen Matanzas, molasses taffy, now is my 


THE CUBAN SPY 


53 


chance to declaration my love to you. Have pity on a 
love-sick Dutchman. This is my first offense. I’m green 
in the business. Don’t fall in love with that Irishman. 
The Irish want everything they see in this world. 

Elinora. Arise! I promise you that I will not enter¬ 
tain the Irishman’s proposals of marriage. ( Crosses to l.) 

Carl. Well, if I’m going to be the happy man, why, 
molasses, give taffy just one little kiss. 

Elinora. Blindfold yourself, Carl; that’s the only way 
I’ll consent. 

Carl. All right; make me blindfolded. ( She blindfolds 
Cart, ivith kerchief.) 

Elinora. Now then, Carl, earn your kiss. 

{She eludes him and exits laughmg , L. i E. As he is groping 

about Bridget enters l. u. e. She is seized by Carl.) 

Carl. Now I’ve got you, molasses, and I want a dozen 
kisses. {Begins to kiss her; tears off kerchief , sees his 
mistake , utters a yell of surprise and dashes off, c. D., pur¬ 
sued by Bridget, shouting. “ Give me the doze?i.") 

{Enter Phelim, l. i e.) 

Phelim. It’s worth a man’s life to be around loose in this 
part of the country. The women are crazy, I believe. If I 
had my way they’d all be put behind locks and bars to keep 
them quiet. I imagine I see a woman behind every bush or 
tree with a net to catch me. Bridget’s the most persistent 
woman I ever saw. 

{Enter Carl, running , c. d., and bumps into Phelim.) 

Carl. Oh, it’s you, is it? I thought it was that Irish¬ 
woman ! She’s here again. 

Phelim. I know she’s here. I’ve just slid out of her 
hands like an eel. 

Carl. By jiminy, so did I! But here she comes on the 
double quick. 

Phelim. So she is. What’s to be done ? Get me out 
of this scrape and I'll never forget you. 

Carl. Lav down quick and pretend that you re dead. 

Phelim. First you have me crazy, now you want me 
dead. 

Carl. If you don’t die now she’ll catch you, and you 11 
be dead for a long time. Quick ! Die die ! (Phelim lies 
down, R . c. Puts chalk upon face) 

Phelim. I’m dead ! Shovel the ground all over me . Say, 
Dutchy, see that my grave’s painted green, will you ? 


54 


THE CUBAN SPY 


{Enter Bridget, c. d. Carl begins to cry.) 

Bridget. Well, what’s the matter wid you now? Where’s 
my kisses ? 

Carl. Look at your feet! Look at your feet! 

Bridget. What’s the matter with my feet? 

Carl. On the ground. Your feet is on the ground. 

Bridget. ( sees Phelim) Murder! What’s this? 

Carl. He’s shooted! There’s an Irish angel in heaven. 
{She kneels beside Phelim.) 

Bridget. My poor, darling, dead Phelim ! How natural 
he looks! Did you see him die ? What were his last 
words ? 

Carl. He said, If you ever see Bridget tell her I’ll meet 
her in another world. 

Phelim. What a Dutch liar! 

Bridget, {cries) I knew he wouldn’t forget me ! Oh, Carl, 
my poor heart is breaking! I’m a widow before I’m mar¬ 
ried! Poor man! He went crazy about me, and now he’s 
dead and will never move again! 

{As she is crying to Carl, Carl puts his arms around her to 
soothe her. Phelim looks up) 

Carl. Oh, I wouldn’t cry about him. He ain’t worth 
it. He ain’t the only ace in de pack. It’s a good thing 
he’s dead. 

Phelim. {aside) You Dutch villain, I’ll murder you. 
(Carl slyly kicks Phelim.) 

Carl, {aside) Shut up ! You’re dead ! Stay dead. ( To 
Bridget.) Lay your head on the bosom of a handsomer 
man. Ah! Bridget! Let me console you. You are just 
the kind of a woman that would suit me. {Embraces her 
and kicks Phelim who is sitting up and threatening Carl 
with motions , etc. Bridget turns as she speaks and dis¬ 
covers Phelim in a different position. She screams with as- 
tonishment) 

Bridget. Look there! Look there ! He’s lying different. 

Carl. Certainly. He’s an awful liar. He’d lie all the 
time. You see, crazy people get all twisted up when they 
die, and the first thing you know he’ll be all tied up in a 
knot. Let him lay there, and de crows will eat him up. 

Bridget. No! I’ll have him buried. I’ll run and get a 
grave-digger and at the same time make arrangements for 
our marriage. (Phelim changes again.) See ! It’s turned 
around again! 

Carl. The Irish die hard. They’ve got nine lives like 


THE CUBAN SPY 


55 


a cat. But he’s dead for the last time. Oh! my darling! 
Kiss your little chickabiddy oil de lip. Oh ! my dear wife 
that is to be. ( Business of kissing her , and Phelim yells 
“Break away ” and lies flat . Bridget turns a?ui notes posi¬ 
tion.) 

Bridget. Now, then, wait for me here, and we’ll have 
him buried and you’ll be my husband as quick as the work 
can be done. (Starts to go r. i e. Carl calls to her) 
Carl. One more sweet kiss ! 

(Bridget runs lo his arms , hugs him and starts off r., and 
then turns and comes to him again. This is do?ie to enable 
Phelim to partially rise and throw himself flat again as 
Bridget returns. This is done several times and Bridget 
runs out r. i e., Carl bidding her to “ hurryetc. Soon 
as she is out Phelim jumps to his feet in great anger) 

Phelim. So I’m dead, am I! I’ll feed the worms, will I! 
(Produces revolver) 

Carl. Go get buried! You don’t cut any ice-cream 
around here any more. 

Phelim. I’ll show you whether I do or not. There’ll be a 
Dutch angel climbing up to the clouds. (Fires at Carl ,who 
yells and hops as if shot in the foot. Short and funny chase 
around stage. Carl runs off l. u. e. Bridget returns r. 
i e. and meets Phelim c. She screams) 

Bridget. His ghost! his ghost! (And scampers off , 
fainting and screaming , r. i e. Phelim tumbles backward 
from sudden meeting , and he scampers off l. i e. ) 

(Music. Several shots fired outside of the hotel. Valdez, 
Jasper, Lopez and guerrillas enter l., ivith Elinor a 
and Richard, prisoners , door , c.) 

Valdez. A very clever ruse, and it succeeded admirably. 
We have captured the town. Your late prisoners are now 
your masters. The American dies first. 

Elinora. No —no—spare his life. ’Twas I who am to 
blame for his participation in these matters. Let me be the 
one to suffer. Release him and take my life. See, I kneel 
to you! (Kneels) 

Richard. Arise! Kneel to no one, save Heaven. Kneel 
not to a craven cowardly dog for a million lives. 

Elinora. Harken not to him, Roderigo Valdez, but 
listen to my pleadings for his life. 

Valdez. Then you love this meddling American ! 



56 


THE CUBAN SPY 


Elinora. I do ; I do love him ! 

Valdez. Enough ! No power on earth could save him 
now. The message you sent to General Gomez will fail of 
its mission, as I have a band in ambush to receive the 
patriots when they come this way! 

Elinora. Will nothing tempt you to release this 
man ? 

Valdez. No. There is a deeper reason than his inter¬ 
ference why I should destroy him. Lopez, take a squad of 
men with you to the court-yard and convey the American 
to a spot where I see you from the window. At my signal, 
shoot to kill! 

Richard. Cowardly dog ! This murder will be avenged 
tenfold. Farewell, Elinora. ( Crosses to her.) Remember 
your mission is to avenge your father and the one who 
loved you so devotedly. 

Elinora. No, no! They must not take you from me. 
Richard, my own, I cannot bear to lose you now ! ( Clings 
to him.) 

Valdez. Take him away! (Lopez and a soldier take 
Richard from her , while one takes her , r.) 

Richard. Elinora! Remember! Avenge me if you 
can. ( He is taken off , c. d., by Lopez and soldiers.) 

Elinora. (aside, r. c.) If I can but gain time the relief 
party may arrive. 

Valdez. Once before I gave you a chance which you 
spurned. I know your motives and see through your dis¬ 
guise and purpose. 

Elinora. I seek the false friend who murdered my 
father and robbed me of my inheritance. 

Valdez. You will never find him! Yet I may say this 
to you: Here is a package of documents relating to that 
estate, and I hold them out to you as a tempting bait. 
(Holds out papers .) What would you give to possess them ? 

Elinora. This is my answer. (Seizes the papers.) 

Valdez. Give me those documents ! 

Elinora. When I am dead you can take them from the 
hand which now holds them! They are mine, and I will 
die defending them to the last. 

Valdez. This is quite theatrical, I must say. Your 
lover is beyond with guns leveled at his breast, my men 
awaiting the signal to fire. Quite dramatic, is it not ? And 
you—well, you know the&fate of a spy. The papers you 
hold may give you a momentary pleasure, but you are 
doomed. One chance yet remains. Become mine, and I 
spare the American ! Quick—choose. 


THE CUBAN SPY 


57 


Elinora. I prefer death. And I am sure that Richard 
Carson would rather die than see me wedded to a coward, 
a villain, a murderer such as you are ! 

Valdez. These words to me! It is your last threat! 
{As he speaks he advances toward her , holding up his hand. 
She seizes his hand , screams as she beholds the mark in the 
Palm of his hand) 

Elinora. There is the brand I have sought! The mark 
of the murderer which I saw on that fatal night. You— 
you—Roderigo Valdez—you are the assassin ! 

Valdez. Curses on the mark ! I wished to hide it for¬ 
ever from your gaze. 

Elinora. Twas you, false wretch, who destroyed my 
father, and cast me upon the world—penniless, friendless 
and homeless—while you enjoy ed my inheritance ! Villain ! 
Traitor! We are face to face at last! 

Valdez. You have spoken your death-sentence, and 
Richard Carson’s as well. You have discovered my secret, 
but you will not live to tell it. Blindfold her ! {A man steps 
forward to blindfold her) 

Elinora. Stop! I refuse to be blindfolded. I wish to 
gaze with my dying glances upon brave Spaniards who can 
shoot a helpless woman ! 

Valdez. Do not listen to her idle talk—do as I com¬ 
mand ! Blindfold her, and shoot the spy ! 

Elinora. Stay! You and your murderous associates 
may fire upon me, but I reserve the right to die under the 
colors I have loved, fought for, and wish to embrace in my 
dying moments. {She places a Cuban flag which she pro¬ 
duces from her bosom upon her shoulders ) This flag has been 
consecrated by the blood of Cuban patriots ! Fire upon it, 
and add another stain to the credit of Spain ! Here is 
another emblem {takes out American flag , places it over 
heart ) Fire upon this if you dare! 

Valdez. Am I to be baffled by a weak girl and her 
senseless talk? Up with your guns and fire upon her. 
Why do you hesitate ? 

Jasper. Captain, I for one will not shoot down a woman 
in cold blood! I may be a villain, but I draw the line at 
that, and I absolutely refuse to obey any such order! 

Valdez. Am I awake or dreaming? Jasper refusing to 
remove a human being for our own safety ? What does it 
mean ? 

Jasper. It means that no matter how vile or utterly lost 
a man may be, there is some good in him yet remaining. 
I have a sister at home, and I would kill the man that in- 


1 



58 


THE CUBAN SPY 


suited or threatened her life. As I wish my sister to be 
treated, so will I treat this helpless girl—spy or no spy ! 

{Bugle call heard in distance. Elinor a screa?ns.) 

Elinora. The bugle ! General Gomez is at hand. My 
prayer has been answered. 

Valdez. I’ll give the signal! 

{Music. Valdez rushes to window as Phelim and Carl 
show themselves at window and fire. Valdez staggers, 
tries to reach Elinora to shoot her, but falls dead at her 
feet. Phelim and Carl come through window and at¬ 
tempt to strike down Jasper, but Elinora protects him. 
Richard a?id Lopez enter , d. c. Sword combat. Lopez 
disarmed and overpowered. Guerrillas driven on and over¬ 
powered by Cubans. One hands flag to Elinora, which 
she waves in triumph. Sophie and Bridget enter l. i e. 
Phelim drops on his knees between them , begging for 
?nercy ) l. c. Richard a?id Elinora, c.) 


curtain 





Elocution 

By J. W. Shoemaker, A. M. 

300 pages 

Cloth, Leather Back, $1.35 

This work is the outgrowth of 
actual class-room experience, and is 
a practical, common-sense treatment 
of the whole subject. It is clear and 
concise, yet comprehensive, and is 
absolutely free from the entangling 
technicalities that are so frequently found in books of 
this class. 

Conversation, which is the basis of all true Elocution, 
is regarded as embracing all the germs of speech and 
action. Prominent attention is therefore given to the 
cultivation of this the most common form of human ex¬ 
pression. 




General principles and practical processes are pre¬ 
sented for the cultivation of strength, purity, and flexi¬ 
bility of Voice, for the improvement of distinctness and 
correctness in articulation, and for the development of 
, Soul Power in delivery. 

The work includes a systematic treatment of Gesture 
in its several departments of position, facial expression^ 
and bodily movement, a brief system of Gymnastics 
bearing upon vocal development and grace of move¬ 


ment, and also a chapter on Methods of Instruction, for 
teachers. 

Sold by all booksellers, or sent, prepaid, upon receipt 
of price. ^ 

The Penri P) blishing Company 

923 A r ’.h Street, Philadelphia 



AU6 8 1898 


I 


SHOEMA} 


x 


ne National School 

of Elocution and Chat* 


ODD FELLOWS’ TEMPLE 

Broad and Cherry Streets 
Philadelphia 


P ERSONS wishing- to obtain practical training and 
artistic culture in Eloeution and Oratory should 
attend this institution* 

It is the oldest chartered school of expression in 
America. 

Its students and graduates, numbering thousands, 
are to be found in all parts of this country and 
Canada, occupying prominent positions as Public 
Readers, Teachers of Elocution, Clergymen, Lecturer* 
Actors, etc. 

Instruction thorough in all that pertains to a weu^ 
rounded elocutionary education. 

A corps of eminent teachers, each a specialist in his 
own department. All facilities first-class. 

In addition to the regular Day Classes there are 
special Evening and Saturday courses. 

Special Summer cour, % Private instruction. Grad¬ 
uating courses one and tw * years. Illustrated catalogue 
giving full information sei, i on application. 


Principals / M -S. J. W. SHOEMAKER 

' GJ ORGE B. HYNSON, ESQ. 









